From The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

“It’s hard to love somebody who sees the world as black and white, without also fearing them.”

“I know it doesn’t absolve anyone of anything, but the Kabul we lived in in those days was a strange world, one in which some things mattered more than the truth.”

“Sometimes, I think everything he did, feeding the poor on the streets, building the orphanage, giving money to friends in need, it was all his way of redeeming himself. And that, I believe, is what true redemption, is, Amir jan, when guilt leads to good."

"Perspective was a luxury when your head was constantly buzzing with a swarm of demons.”

“I thought of a line I’d read somewhere, or maybe I’d heard someone say it: There are a lot of children in Afghanistan, but little childhood.”

Christmas: Light in the Midst of Darkness

When I was in naval aviator training, one of the tests for night vision was to put us in a room that was completely and totally dark. You could not see any movement by moving your hand in front of your eyes-- none. Never had been in complete and total darkness before or since. Then what seemed like a microscopic green light would appear somewhere in the room and then a red. Then the lights would appear at different spots. We had to push a button to indicate the direction of the light. Those who could not see the lights were taken out later for more testing. The amazing thing was how such a tiny light could make such a difference.

I've used this as a metaphor many times to illustrate what I think of God-- Light, Love, and Life is what I define as God-- He, She, or It.

If your life is filled with bright lights this Christmas, give thanks. If your life is surrounded by darkness this Christmas, I hope you find some light in the midst of the darkness which is what I think Christmas is all about.

CHRISTMAS QUOTES

Do give books - religious or otherwise - for Christmas. They're never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal. Lenore Hershey

A good conscience is a continual Christmas. Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. Irish Proverb

At Christmas play and make good cheer, For Christmas comes but once a year. Thomas Tusser

Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons

At Christmas I no more desire a rose
Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth;
But like of each thing that in season grows.
William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), Love's Labour Lost

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930)

Christmas is a holiday that persecutes the lonely, the frayed, and the rejected. Jimmy Cannon

Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family... Berke Breathed, Bloom County Babylon

Ralph Waldo Emerson Said It...

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Spoken by a 1st Grader

When the blind leadeth the blind... somebody's gonna get hurt!

OLD FRIENDS

Old Friends-
Pitchin' pennies in the park
Playin' croquette till it's dark
Old Friends.

Old Friends-
Swappin' lies of life and loves
Pitchin' popcorn to the doves
Old Friends.

Old Friends-
Lookin' up to watch a bird
Holdin' arms to climb a curb
Old Friends.

Old Friends-
Lord, when all my work is done
Bless my life, and grant me one
Old Friend.
Just one Old Friend.

Written by Roger Miller
Sung by Willie Nelson & Roger Miller

HAVEN'T GOT TIME FOR THE PAIN?

Carly Simon sang it, Haven't Got Time For the Pain. People identified with it, and a classic was born. But such a philosophy of no time for the pain can be hazarduous to your physical and emotional health.

Pain is nature's way of telling you to make some adjustments. Hence the avoidance of pain can be very serious. To avoid pain by abusing drugs, alcohol, work, or food, can be disastrous. If you haven't got time for the pain, you're too busy. If you take time for the pain, in a creative healthy way, you are enhancing healing.

Feelings denied is healing delayed. Feeling is for healing and denying the pain, masking it, or distracting it, is delaying the healing processes. If you get some help for your pain, you'll probably say, I wish I'd taken time for this long ago.

THE SKIN HORSE

In her classic story, The Velveteen Rabbit, Margery Williams has the skin horse to say, "Once you're real, you can never be unreal again, it lasts for always."

What a powerful description of what it means to take off our masks, drop our labels, prejudices, denials, and defenses.

Far too often, to dodge disapproval, we squelch our true opinions; from the fear of rejection, we silence our beliefs; to avoid confrontation we sacrifice our personal truth.

Which means we accept the slavery of unreal living to avert rejection and disapproval. But living that isn't real, isn't iving at all.

One of the great satisfactions of being a therapist, comes through seeing people set aside the bondage of masks, labels, and defenses and emerge as real, never to be unreal again.

Are you there, yet?

From SOCRATES Himself

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.

Envy is the ulcer of the soul.

The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance.

The unexamined life is not worth living.

10 Mark Twain Zingers

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

You Know You're Living in 2009 When...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You email your spouse who's in another room in the same house.

3. Your don't stay in touch with friends and family if they don't do e-mail.

4. You haven't sent a hand-written letter in years.

5. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. You are furious when the t.v. remote can't be found or doesn't work.

8. Leaving the house without your cell causes panic and you go back and get it.

9. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

10. You add really silly things nobody cares about on Facebook 3 times a day.

11. You frequently ask your nine-year-old grandchild for help with your cell phone.

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

A TWISTED WORD OF WISDOM...

Give a man a fish and you will satisfy his hunger for a day.
Teach him how to fish and he will drink beer and fish every weekend!

Cinderella Syndrome

Our culture is indoctrinated with a myth that is incredibly widespread and terribly damaging. It's the Cinderella Syndrome-- the belief that there is one person who is predestined as our partner, one & only, significant other, husband or wife.

Loving, as we do, to hear Cinderella retold, brings huge success to movies, novels and music. We want to believe that there is a Handsome Prince for every Cinderella and the trick is to keep looking until the slipper fits. Totally stupid television programs like The Bachelor play off this incredibly ridiculous concept and should be totally offensive to any thinking person with one eye and half sense!

This Cinderella syndrome is also played out in current relationships. If your marriage goes sour, it means you just made a mistake in selection, so you end it and look again-- another all too often choice that is equally as untrue and damaging.

The Cincerella/Handsome Prince syndrome is pure myth and produces relational madness. If you've been damaged by it, have a stroke of sanity and get some help.

Words from Charles Darwin

The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.

We must, however, acknowledge as it seems to me, that a man with all his noble qualities...still bears in his bodily frame the indelible stamp of his lowly origin.

AS I'VE MATURED...

I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blanket.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I've learned that a child can keep throwing up long after you think they're finished.

I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty
things.

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I've learned that some people don't suffer from insanity, they enjoy it.

I've learned that you are responsible for what you do, unless you are
a celebrity.

I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity.

IS THIS EVERY WOMAN?

She had a desire to be needed, and a need to be desired.

Questions That Need Answers...

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta it's behind."

3. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

4. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

5. Why does an OB-GYN leave the room while a woman gets undressed if
they're going to look up there anyway?

6. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

7. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

8. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

9. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

10. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

On Dreams and Yearnings

It's probably safe to say that all dreams and inner yearnings
that are good, positive, and life-building come from a divine
source. And the more we move toward our creative dreams, the
closer we move toward the Creator.

So, if you've got an internal "want to" or an urgent fantasy-itch
you can't scratch, and it's passed the test of being good,
positive, and life-building, then go for it with confidence of
divine endorsement.

And remember the more unusual and unorthodox your creative dream,
the more assurance you have that it was stimulated by the Divine
Creator.

Taking The Leap of Faith

It was the noted theologian and scholar, Paul Tillich, who
referred to the Christian experience as a "leap of faith."
What he meant was, you can never know for sure, can never have
all the answers, before or after you act. You just make a choice
and take the leap.

That's a great metaphor of life about most aspects of living.
Amidst the ambiguity, ambivalence, and anxiety, well integrated
people learn to act. They celebrate their successes, learn from
their mistakes, grieve normally about their losses, and take the
next leap.

There's an ancient proverb that says, "Leap and the net will
appear." And I would add, "sometimes." Sometimes the net
appears and sometimes you fall on your face. But well adjusted
people keep leaping anyway.

WHY I LIKE THANKSGIVING THE BEST

Of all the religious or secular hoidays that we celebrate, my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. There are several reasons for this, of which I'll name a few.

1. Thanksgiving is the least commercialized-- we don't do gifts, or fireworks, or any elaborate decorations.

2. Thanksgiving is about family-- whether your literal family or one you've created.

3. Thanksgiving is about, well, it's about giving thanks. It's about gratitude, appreciation, acknowledgment of what is important in our lives.

4. Thanksgiving is about commemorating the past, and those who've gone before, and about enjoying the present, no matter the circumstances.

5. Thanksgiving is a good reminder that an attitude of gratitude is one of the best human traits any of us can acquire.

6. This year, I'm especially thankful for the unique privilege of knowing John Houston for 49 years. He took the ride to the other side on Sunday. We'll bury him tomorrow on Thanksgiving Eve, 2009. He would have been 92 on Jan. 1st.

What about you? What do you like about Thanksgiving?

Top Ten Things Men Don't Say

10. "Screw the game... Rosie's on!"

9. "Excuse me, Sir, I'm really, realy lost. Could you give me directions?"

8. "I don't really care for beer... too filling. White wine for me, please."

7. "Honey...you up for some shoe shopping?"

6. "Oh, sure she's great looking, but what about her personality, hmmm?"

5. "I'm just feeling so fat right now. I think I'll get a nice salad instead."

4. "I can't go out tonight. I've got nothing to wear!"

3. "Well, I was reading Cosmo, and it said..."

2. Um, Joe? Do you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?"

1. "A greeting card?! This is way better than power tools."

Will Rogers Said It...

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

This is Pure Country... by Brad Paisley

Sittin' on a bench at West Town Mall
He sat down in his overalls and asked me
You waitin' on a woman?
I nodded yeah and said how 'bout you
He said son since 1952 I've been
Waitin' on a woman

When I picked her up for our first date
I told her I'd be there at eight
And she came down the stairs at eight-thirty
She said I'm sorry that I took so long
Didn't like a thing that I tried on
But let me tell you son she sure looked pretty
Yeah she'll take her time but I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

He said the wedding took a year to plan
You talk about an anxious man, I was nervous
Waitin' on a woman
And then he nudged my arm like old men do
And said, I'll say this about the honeymoon, it was worth it
Waitin' on a woman

And I don't guess we've been anywhere
She hasn't made us late I swear
Sometimes she does it just 'cause she can do it
Boy it's just a fact of life
It'll be the same with your young wife
Might as well go on and get used to it
She'll take her time 'cause you don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

Prescription for Long-Term Marriage

When a couple was celebrating their 25th anniversary at the church
Marriage Marathon, the minister asked Charlie to take a few minutes
and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same
woman all these years.

Charlie told the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on
her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."

The minister inquired, "Praise God. That's wonderful and a great example to all young husbands. Charlie, Can you give us an example?"

"Well, for our 20th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China."

The minister said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands,
Charlie. Please tell the audience what you're going to do for your wife
on this your 25th anniversary?"

Charlie replied, "I'm going to go back and get her."

The Folly of Fundamentalism

Fundamentalism is generally seen as a system of theological dogma
that is the litmus test of faith.

No matter which religion is in question, the reasoning goes that authentic believers subscribe to the dogma and non-believers and second-rate followers do not. But strangely enough, fundamentalism is not about theology nearly as much as it is psychology.

The essence of all flavors of fundamentalism is religious exclusivity and
spiritual arrogance, which is totally about the psychology of low
self-esteem and weak ego strength.

People with healthy self-esteem and ego strength have no reason to be
exclusive or arrogant.

Maya Angelou SaidIit...

Women, children, men -- take it into the palms of your hands.
Mold it into the shape of your most private need.
Sculpt it into the image of your most public self.

Lift up your hearts.
Each new hour holds new chances
For new beginnings.

Here on the pulse of this fine day
May you have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister's eyes,
Into your brother's face, your country.
And say simply, very simply -- with hope -- Good Morning.

Have You Seen Herman?

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted into the Army.

On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.....

Good Quotes

There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.
Logan Pearsall Smith

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
Theodore Roosevelt

Not the fruit of experience but experience itself, is the end.
Walter Pater

He thought to become again the child he never was.
Cormac McCarthy-- "The Crossing"

All the happy people I know are people I don’t know well.
Dennis Prager

Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.
Anonymous

From The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

“It’s hard to love somebody who sees the world as black and white, without also fearing them.”

“I know it doesn’t absolve anyone of anything, but the Kabul we lived in in those days was a strange world, one in which some things mattered more than the truth.”

“Sometimes, I think everything he did, feeding the poor on the streets, building the orphanage, giving money to friends in need, it was all his way of redeeming himself. And that, I believe, is what true redemption, is, Amir jan, when guilt leads to good."

"Perspective was a luxury when your head was constantly buzzing with a swarm of demons.”

“I thought of a line I’d read somewhere, or maybe I’d heard someone say it: There are a lot of children in Afghanistan, but little childhood.”

In Case You're Ever on Jeopardy

There are 95 cities in China with population of 1 million or more. How many cities in the USA have 1 million or more? Six! What's the point? There are a lot of folks in China!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MARITAL HUMOR

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust."

And that's when the fight started...

*****

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a set of scales.

And that's when the fight started...

*****
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?" "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." "My God!" says my wife, "who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And that's when the fight started...

*****

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment." The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And that's when the fight started...

*****

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's when the fight started...

*****

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.

And that's when the fight started...

*****

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man "Holy crap. That must be my husband!"

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!' The woman yelled back, "Yeah, then why were you running?"

And that's when the fight started...

*****

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And that's when the fight started ...

*****

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started...

*****

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I'm with you.

2. Few people are worth your tears, and those who are, won't make you cry.

3. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

4. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

5. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

6. Don't waste your time on anyone who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

7. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

YOU COULD HAVE HEARD A PIN DROP

When in England, at a fairly large conference, Condi Rice was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building' by George Bush. She answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.'
You could have heard a pin drop.

***

There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?' A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'
You could have heard a pin drop.

***

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?' Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'
You could have heard a pin drop.

***

Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. 'You have been to France before, monsieur?' the customs officer asked sarcastically. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously. Then you should know enough to have your passport ready.' The American said, ''The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it.'Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!' The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, ''Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to.'
You could have heard a pin drop.

EVEN HALLMARK HAS A BAD DAY!

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.

Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
'What the hell was I thinking?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.
-----------------------------

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
_________________________

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
____________________

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
____________________

We have been friends for a very long time.
let's say we stop?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.

====================================

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
_______________

Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
_______________

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay

HAVE YOU QUIT DREAMING?

A father and his 20-year-old son were riding down the Interstate; the boy was driving. They passed a Cadillac SUV Sport Escalade– that’s the one that looks like a tank and sells for about 50k. Son said, “That’s what I want– right there– and I’m gonna get me one.”

Dad says, “What? Do you know how much those things cost? You’re not out of college. You don’t even have a job. That’s absurd to talk about buying a vehicle like that.”

It was quiet for a moment and then son said, “Dad, do you know what your problem is? You don’t even recognize dreaming when you hear it.”

Dad had quit dreaming a long time ago and didn’t want anyone around him to do it either.

How about you?

Deliberate Living

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to confront only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854)

NEVER STOP LAUGHING

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very
elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she
replied. 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?

*****

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is
the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked. She simply
replied, 'No peer pressure.'

******

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

*****

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip
replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half
blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40
different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly
feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have
lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

******

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my
doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I
decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted,
gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the
time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

******

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she
had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. 'Wal-Mart?' the
preacher exclaimed. 'Why Wal-Mart?' 'Then I'll be sure my
daughters visit me twice a week'

******

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as
sharp as it used to be.

*****

THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I
never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.

*****

Always Remember This: You don't stop laughing
because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing

CHANGE

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful, it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful, it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident, it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.

King Whitney Jr.

TOP TEN WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) "Fine": This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) "Five Minutes": If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) "Nothing": This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in "fine."

(4) "Go Ahead": This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) "Loud Sigh": Actually this is not a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) "That's Okay": This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

( 7) "Thanks": Reply "You're welcome." (However, a word of caution-- this is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' which means she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'-- that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) "Whatever": Is a woman's way of saying "*$^@-- YOU!"

(9) "Don't worry about it, I got it.": Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

(10) "Do you think I'm your mother?!" Do not reply to this one at all. Pretend to be having a heart attack and whisper "Call 9-1-1."

THE PROGRESSION OF A GRIEF OBSERVED

My special friend, Dr. Kevin Merigian, lost his dear wife in June, 2009. At 49 years, she lived a full life in a very short time. The following poem is a classic example of the process of loss by someone who has looked grief square in the eye and won the battle. God bless him!

SOMEHOW I MAKE IT THROUGH

There are those painful days.
Sun rises in the morning.
I experience the agony of breathing.
I know that you're not here beside me.
I know that you can't return.
I know that you can't touch me again.
I know that I can't hold you close.

Somehow I make it through those painful days.

There are those not-so-painful days.
Sun rises in the morning.
I experience the work of breathing.
I know that you're not here beside me.
I know that you can't return.
I know that you can't touch me again.
I know that I can't hold you close.

Somehow I make it through those not-so-painful days.

The painless days are ahead.
The sun will rise in the morning.
I will experience unconscious breathing again.
I know that you will not be here beside me.
I know that you will not return.
I know that you will not touch me again.
I know that I will not hold you close again.

Somehow I will make it through those painless days.

Some days the tears seem almost artificial.
The crying is always real.

I miss you.

Kevin S “Kiki” Merigian © October 20, 2009

From Barry Goldwater of Arizona

Politics [is] the art of achieving the maximum amount of freedom for individuals that is consistent with the maintenance of social order.

I'm not sure I've even got the brains to be President.

BEWARE OF THE CRITICAL MOMENTS THAT SHAPE US...

In puzzlement Truman Capote was trying to understand how he (who was a world renowned author) and Perry Smith (who was a cold bloodied murderer) could have turned out so differently. Both of them had alcoholic parents who basically abandoned both. Each of them grew up in foster homes or with extended family members, yet they turned out so radically different.

Said Capote, puzzled: We grew up in the same household, but I went out the front door, and he went out the back.

DO WE NEED TO READ THIS ONCE A DAY?

In his first inaugural address, President Franklin Roosevelt said these words:

So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear... is fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. In every dark hour of our national life a leadership of frankness and vigor has met with that understanding and support of the people themselves which is essential to victory. I am convinced that you will again give that support to leadership in these critical days.

Can You Relate to This One?

Riding the RodeKing this afternoon in the Southern Arizona desert, for some strange reason, I remembered hearing a man say about his nephew: That boy's got a lot of talk in him but not much listen.

Tagline for Million Dollar Baby

Beyond his silence, there is a past. Beyond her dreams, there is a feeling. Beyond hope, there is a memory. Beyond their journey, there is a love.

Wounds of the Soul

"A broken nose don’t hurt that much. But some wounds are too deep or too close to the bone and no matter how hard you work at it, you just can’t stop the bleeding."
From: Million Dollar Baby

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

If life is a highway and the soul is a car, sometimes things in the rear view mirror seem closer than they are. MEAT LOAF

FREEDOM

My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular. Adlai E. Stevenson

Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom. Albert Einstein

The basis of a democratic state is liberty. Aristotle

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Benjamin Franklin

If you want to be free, there is but one way; it is to guarantee an equally full measure of liberty to all your neighbors. There is no other. Carl Schurz

We hold in our hands, the most precious gift of all: Freedom. The freedom to express our art. Our love. The freedom to be who we want to be. We are not going to give that freedom away and no one shall take it from us!
Diane Frolov & Andrew Schneider

Only the educated are free. Epictetus

THE PARADOX OF PARENTING

My daughter, Leanne Duncan, gave the best explanation of the paradox of parenting that I've ever heard: DAYS ARE LONG, YEARS ARE SHORT.

Tough Economy

Tag Line-- Grace Cathedral (San Francisco)

"Reconnecting your Spirit without disconnecting your Mind."

QUOTES FROM CONFUCIUS

Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.

Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.

Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.

He who will not economize will have to agonize.

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star.

It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.

Men's natures are alike, it is their habits that carry them far apart.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.

Sometimes We Need a Reality Check.

Albert Einstein Said It...

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.

Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.

Ethical axioms are found and tested not very differently from the axioms of science. Truth is what stands the test of experience.

Every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.

Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

3 More Crucial Lessons in Life

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
B.S. might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

CRUCIAL LESSONS IN LIFE

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized, "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk, "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!"' says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says: "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

MAKING A BABY?

Barney and Blanche were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Barney kissed his wife goodbye and said, “Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.”

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

“Good morning, Ma'am,” he said, “I've come to....”

“Oh, no need to explain,” Blanche cut in, “I've been expecting you.”

“Have you really? Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?”

“Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Well, where do we start?”

“Leave everything to me. I'd like to try the bathtub, the couch, and a couple on the bed. Then we'll go to the living room floor where you can really spread out."

“Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Barney and me!”

“Well, I can't guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.”

“My, that's a lot!,” gasped Blanche.

“Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.”

“Don't I know it,” said Blanche under her breath.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This was done on the top of a bus,” he said.

“Oh, my word!” exclaimed Blanche, grasping at her throat.

“And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.”

“She was difficult?” asked Blanche.

“Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look.”

“Four and five deep?”

“Yes, and for more than three hours the mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. When night came I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I had to pack it all in.”

Blanche leaned forward. “Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?”

“It's true. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get started.”

“Tripod?”

“Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.”

That’s when Blanche fainted!

WAR IS A RACKET

War is a racket. It always has been.
It is possibly the oldest, easily the most profitable,
surely the most vicious.

It is the only one international in scope.

It is the only one in which the profits are reckoned
in dollars and the losses in lives.

A racket is best described, I believe, as something
that is not what it seems to the majority of people.

Only a small “inside” group knows what it is about.

It is conducted for the benefit of the very few, at the expense of the very many.

Out of war a few people make huge fortunes.

Major General Smedley D. Butler
US Marine Corps
Two-time winner Congressional Medal of Honor
1935

WHATEVER IT TAKES...

TOO GOOD NOT TO BE TRUE!

Jasper and the Unbaked Yeast Rolls

We have a fox terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to us in the summer of 2001 from the fox terrier rescue program. For those of you, who are unfamiliar with this type of adoption, imagine taking in a 10 year old child about whom you know nothing and committing to doing your best to be a good parent.

Like a child, the dog came with his own idiosyncrasies. He will only sleep on the bed, on top of the covers, nuzzled as close to my face as he can get without actually performing a French kiss on me.

Lest you think this is a bad case of 'no discipline,' I should tell you that Perry and I tried every means to break him of this habit including locking him in a separate bedroom for several nights. The new door cost over $200. But I digress.

Five weeks ago we began remodeling our house. Although the cost of the project is downright obnoxious, it was 20 years overdue AND it got me out of cooking Thanksgiving for family, extended family, and a lot of friends that I like more than family most of the time.

I was assigned the task of preparing 124 of my famous yeast dinner rolls for the two Thanksgiving feasts we did attend. I am still cursing the electrician for getting the new oven hooked up so quickly. It was the only appliance in the whole darn house that worked, thus the assignment.

I made the decision to cook the rolls on Wed evening to reheat Thurs am. Since the kitchen was freshly painted, you can imagine the odor. Not wanting the rolls to smell like Sherwin Williams #586, I put the rolls on baking sheets and set them in the living room to rise for a few hours. Perry and I decided to go out to eat, returning in about an hour. The rolls were ready to go in the oven.

It was 8:30 PM. When I went to the living room to retrieve the pans, much to my shock one whole pan of 12 rolls was empty. I called out to Jasper and my worst nightmare became a reality. He literally wobbled over to me He looked like a combination of the Pillsbury dough boy and the Michelin Tire man wrapped up in fur. He groaned when he walked. I swear even his cheeks were bloated.

I ran to the phone and called our vet. After a few seconds of uproarious laughter, he told me the dog would probably be OK, however, I needed to give him Pepto Bismol every 2 hours for the rest of the night.

God only knows why I thought a dog would like Pepto Bismol any more than my kids did when they were sick. Suffice it to say that by the time we went to bed the dog was black, white and pink He was so bloated we had to lift him onto the bed for the night.

We arose at 7:30 and as we always do first thing; put the dog out to relieve himself. Well, the dog was as drunk as a sailor on his first leave. He was running into walls, falling flat on his butt and most of the time when he was walking his front half was going one direction and the other half was either dragging the grass or headed 90 degrees in another direction.

He couldn't lift his leg to pee, so he would just walk and pee at the same time. When he ran down the small incline in our back yard he couldn't stop himself and nearly ended up running into the fence.

His pupils were dilated and he was as dizzy as a loon. I endured another few seconds of laughter from the vet (second call within 12 hours) before he explained that the yeast had fermented in his belly and that he was indeed drunk.

He assured me that, not unlike most binges we humans go through, it would wear off after about 4 or 5 hours and to keep giving him Pepto Bismol. Afraid to leave him by himself in the house, Perry and I loaded him up and took him with us to my sister's house for the first Thanksgiving meal of the day.

My sister lives outside of Muskogee on a ranch, (10 to 15 minute drive). Rolls firmly secured in the trunk (124 less 12) and drunk dog leaning from the back seat onto the console of the car between Perry and I, we took off.

Now I know you probably don't believe that dogs burp, but believe me when I say that after eating a tray of risen unbaked yeast rolls, DOGS WILL BURP. These burps were pure Old Charter. They would have matched or beat any smell in a drunk tank at the police station. But that's not the worst of it.

Now he was beginning to fart and they smelled like baked rolls. God strike me dead if I am not telling the truth! We endured this for the entire trip to Karen's, thankful she didn't live any further away than she did.

Once Jasper was firmly placed in my sister's garage with the door locked, we finally sat down to enjoy our first Thanksgiving meal of the day. The dog was the topic of conversation all morning long and everyone made trips to the garage to witness my drunken dog, each returning with a tale of Jasper's latest endeavor to walk without running into something. Of course, as the old adage goes, 'what goes in must come out' and Jasper was no exception.

Granted if it had been me that had eaten 12 risen, unbaked yeast rolls, you might as well have put a concrete block up my behind, but alas a dog's digestive system is quite different from yours or mine. I discovered this was a mixed blessing when we prepared to leave Karen's house. Having discovered his 'packages' on the garage floor, we loaded him up in the car so we could hose down the floor.

This was another naive decision on our part. The blast of water from the hose hit the poop on the floor and the poop on the floor with stood the blast from the hose. It was like Portland cement beginning to set up and cure.

We finally tried to remove it with a shovel. I (obviously no one else was going to offer their services) had to get on my hands and knees with a coarse brush to get the remnants off of the floor. And as if this wasn't degrading enough, the darn dog in his drunken state had walked through the poop and left paw prints all over the garage floor that had to be brushed too.

Well, by this time the dog was sobering up nicely so we took him home and dropped him off before we left for our second Thanksgiving dinner at Perry's sister's house.

I am happy to report that as of today (Monday) the dog is back to normal both in size and temperament. He has had a bath and is no longer tricolor. None the worse for wear I presume. I am also happy to report that just this evening I found 2 risen unbaked yeast rolls hidden inside my closet door.

It appears he must have come to his senses after eating 10 of them but decided hiding 2 of them for later would not be a bad idea. Now, I'm doing research on the computer as to: 'How to clean unbaked dough from the carpet.'

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

ONE MAN’S TRASH...

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Thus goes the maxim. Does that mean everything is relative? Answering that question or debating that topic would require more than this article will allow. So, this piece will steer clear of the concept of moral relativism and focus instead on the issue of attitudional and experiential relativism which will require at least two posts, maybe more. To begin this discussion, I'll tell a story-- no surprise there, huh?!

At the time this story occured, my office was on the PGA Tournament Players Club on the Southwind Golf Course. Fifty feet from the second green of this multi-million dollar golf course, to say my office had a great view is a gross understatement which is crucial for the story about Ralph (not his real name.)

In his mid-30's, Ralph was a blue collar laborer who lived pay check to pay check with his wife and young child. As he entered my office, the first time he came to see me, he walked straight to the twelve-foot ceiling to floor plate glass windows that looked out on the fairway. Standing there staring, he shook his head.

Sensing his awe, I said, “Pretty sight, huh?!” “Wow. This view is amazing!” “You play golf, do you?” I asked. And in a gesture that looked exactly like Barney Fife, he turned to me, pulled at his belt and said, “Yeah I do. I play a little Putt Putt now and then.” And he was totally serious.

What did I say? Nothing! I bit my lip, ducked into my break room, poured a hot cup of coffee, took a swig in hopes the burn would keep me from bursting into an embarrassing belly laugh.

Ater listening to Ralph for a while, I shamefully realized for the umpteenth time in my life that life really is relative. To some of us playing golf on a Tournament Players course and playing Putt Putt are worlds apart, but to this man and multiplied millions, they are totally equal-- just recreation, diversion, and a game.

Thank you Ralph, I needed that to remind that all of us really are just bozos on the same bus.

MEN AT WORK

5 More Rules for Healthy Living

1. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her- believe them.

2. Perhaps the best advice your mother gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!"

3. If you’re over 50, never pass up an opportunity to use the bathroom.

4. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

5. Living well really is the best revenge.

FIVES RULES FOR HEALTHY LIVING

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
2. Never go anywhere without WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
3. The four most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship– "I apologize" and "You’re right."
4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately– it's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

ON THE OTHER HAND...

A former lawyer and judge, Noah S. 'Soggy' Sweat Jr., delivery his famous "Whiskey Speech" in 1952. The ''Whisky Speech'' was political doubletalk at its finest. The speech was delivered in response to the issue of legalizing the sale of liquor in Mississippi. In light of this being a huge election year, it seems appropriate to include this political sidestepping classic.


My friends, I had not intended to discuss this controversial subject at this particular time. However, I want you to know that I do not shun controversy. On the contrary, I will take a stand on any issue at any time, regardless of how fraught with controversy it might be. You have asked me how I feel about whisky. All right, here is how I feel about whisky.


If when you say whisky you mean the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster, that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean the evil drink that topples the Christian man and woman from the pinnacle of righteous, gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation, and despair, and shame and helplessness, and hopelessness, then certainly I am against it.


But, iIf when you say whisky you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and laughter on their lips, and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer; if you mean the stimulating drink that puts the spring in the old gentleman's step on a frosty, crispy morning; if you mean the drink which enables a man to magnify his joy, and his happiness, and to forget, if only for a little while, life's great tragedies, and heartaches, and sorrows; if you mean that drink, the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars, which are used to provide tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitiful aged and infirm; to build highways and hospitals and schools, then certainly I am for it.


This is my stand. I will not retreat from it. I will not compromise.

FROM ONE FRIEND TO ANOTHER

When you are sad... I will dry your tears.
When you are scared... I will comfort your fears.

When you are worried... I will give you hope.
When you are confused... I will help you cope.

And when you are lost... and can't see the light,
I shall be your beacon... shining ever so bright.

This is my oath... I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask? Because you're my friend.

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE HUMOR THERAPY

Man who run in front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE-- THESE ARE FUNNY!!!!!!!!!

Lost and Looking?

Many people who come to see me for intensive therapy totally identify with this song. Written by Bono and released by U2 in 1987, it's still extremely relevant. After reading the lyrics, check out YouTube and listen to this haunting search for purpose and passion in life.

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you

I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her fingertips
It burned like fire
This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
Well yes I'm still running

You broke the bonds and you
Loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Of my shame
You know I believed it

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for...

RELIGIOUS FREEDOM

From Senator Barry Goldwater-- 9/16/81

On religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being.

But like any powerful weapon, the use of God's name on one's behalf should be used sparingly. The religious factions that are growing throughout our land are not using their religious clout with wisdom. They are trying to force government leaders into following their position 100 percent. If you disagree with these religious groups on a particular moral issue, they complain, they threaten you with a loss of money or votes or both.

I'm frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in 'A,' 'B,' 'C,' and 'D.' Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me?

And I am even more angry as a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group who thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll call in the Senate. I am warning them today: I will fight them every step of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans in the name of 'conservatism'.

MISDIRECTED ANGER

She was angry. I mean angrrrry! Actually she was enraged and her husband was the villian and the victim. In her eyes, her fury was justified because of his infidelity more than two years prior. Yet, with alot of marital therapy, she professed to have "forgiven him." However, every time he did the slightest thing to irritate her, she exploded with profane name calling and at times threw dishes at him or whatever else was handy.

Did she have a right to be mad because of his indiscretion? Yes. Was she justified in her outrageous behavior? No. Due to having forgiven him, at least intellectually, was the intensity of her anger (two years after the transgression) excessive? Without question. Why? Why did she still have a hair trigger for unloading on her husband? The answer? Her intense anger was grossly misdirected. Why do I say that? Because...

As a girl, she had been physically and sexually abused by her brother, uncle, and a teenage boyfriend who was a sexual bully and she was his prey. All three of these men were sexual predators but due to a lack of opportunity to direct her anger at the appropriate men, she had transferred it all to her husband. She certainly had grounds to be angry at her husband but he didn't deserve the rage that had been caused by these other men in her life.

With some intensive therapy, she unloaded a lot of baggage in the right direction, got some healing, and with time and hard work, she stopped raging at her husband.

If you're misdirecting anger, you're probably hurting some undeserving people. Some good therapy could be extremely valuable to you and them.

Quotes from Fr. John Powell

If I am to tell you who I really am,
I must tell you about my feelings.

The sun only shines, just as God only loves.
It is the nature of the sun to shine;
It is the nature of God to love.

Fully alive people are sensitively aware
Of all that is good in themselves.

Love is practiced in the act of sharing...
Communication is the very essence of love in practice.

Whatever my secrets are,
Remember when I entrust them to you,
They are part of me.

DON DOYLE'S SELF-HELP PRODUCTS THAT WORK

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HEROES OF THE HEART-- Treasured Stories of Hurt, Hate, Horror, and Humor

CHANGE IS A CHOICE-- Common People Who Made Uncommon Choices

THE COURAGE TO CHANGE YOUR MIND... IS THE POWER TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE

BACKTRACKING THROUGH THE 50'S-- Explores the way we were or the way we never were?!

WORDS TO PONDER

The most destructive habit? Worry.

The greatest joy? Giving.

The greatest loss? Loss of self-respect.

The most satisfying work? Helping others.

The ugliest personality trait? Self-centeredness.

The most endangered species? Dedicated leaders.

Our greatest natural resource? Our youth.

The greatest "shot in the arm"? Encouragement.

The greatest problem to overcome? Fear.

The most effective sleeping pill? Peace of mind.

The most crippling failure disease? Excuses.

The most powerful force in life? Love.

PERKS FOR BEING OVER 60

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run-- anywhere.
4. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
5. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
6. Things you buy now won't wear out.
7. Your secrets are safe with friends because they can't remember them either.
8. Your joints are more accurate forecasters than the national weather service.
9. You can sing along with elevator music.
10.You can live without sex but not your glasses.

PUT THE GLASS DOWN

How heavy is a glass of water? Depending on the size of the glass-- maybe 20 grams, or maybe 500 grams? It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold it.

If you hold it for a minute, it’s okay. If you hold it for an hour, you will have an ache in your arm. If you hold it for a day, somebody will have to call an ambulance. It is the exact same weight, but the longer it’s held, the heavier it becomes. What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while before picking it up again.

Likewise, if we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we will not be able to carry on because they become increasingly heavier. We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed and are able to carry on.

So, before the day is over, as the old spiritual says, "lay your burden down." You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burden you’re carrying on your shoulders, lay it down for a while. Pick it up again later when you’ve rested.

Rest and Relax.

Life is short, enjoy it!!

THE COLOR PURPLE

Introducing herself, she said, "I grew up in the color purple." She went on to explain that she had survived her childhood in a terrible ghetto in Mississippi and had scratched and clawed her way to a high ranking position as a military chaplain.

With advanced degrees in theology, psychology, and personnel management she had a very impressive resume. But she was not happy.

Later in a therapy session, she cried out in deep despair, "Grandmama you told me with a good education, I could leave the ghetto behind. Grandmama, you were wrong. I got the good education but the ghetto is still living inside." And that was the beginning of her journey toward wholeness.

When will we ever learn? You can't fix inside problems with outside solutions. She couldn't, neither can you.

HUMOR THERAPY

A Dozen Ways to Aid "Going Sane"

1. At lunch time, sit In your car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars-- then count the number of cars that slow down!

2. Page yourself over the intercom and don't disguise your voice.

3. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine highs, switch to Espresso.

4. In The Memo Field of all your checks, write For Smuggling Diamonds.

5. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

6. Next time you go out to eat, order a diet water.

7. Next time you get a burger at a drive-through, say, "This order is to go."

8. Five days In advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because
you'll be having a bad day.

9. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"

10. When leaving the zoo, run toward the parking lot, yelling
"Run for your lives! They're loose!"

11. Over dinner, announce to your children, "Due to the economy, we have to let one of you go."

12. And the final way to continue Going Sane-- Send "humor therapy" to everyone in your address book!

Okay, Okay, , I'M SHAMELESS but...

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"HUMOROUS ADVICE" FROM ANGRY WOMEN

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same- they just have different faces, so you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

Quotes from Henry Sloane Coffin-- former Chaplain at Yale University

"Even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat."

"Every nation makes decisions based on self-interest and then defends them in the name of morality."

"Hell is truth seen too late."

"Nationalism, at the expense of another nation, is just as wicked as racism at the expense of another race."

"Love measures our stature: the more we love the bigger we are."

"There is no smaller package in all the world than that of a man all wrapped up in himself."

"The glory of God is a human being fully alive."

THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A REDNECK SAY...

"You can’t feed that to the dog!"

"Wrasslin’s fake."

"I thought Graceland was tacky."

"Who’s Richard Petty?"

"I’ve got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl."

"Checkmate."

"Does this salad bar have bean sprouts?"

"She’s too old to be wearing that bikini."

"Alex, I’ll take Shakespeare for $100."

LIFE'S THREE-LEGGED STOOL

A well-balanced life is like a three-legged stool.
You need WORK that you believe in;
SOMETHING to look forward to;
And SOMEONE to share with at a deep emotional level.

If you have all three legs going in your life, you are in good balance and well-integrated. With two legs you can make it, though you have to sit on the stool cautiously. If you sit on the stool with great concentration and determination,you can even survive with one leg. But if all three legs are missing or greatly impaired? Your bottom is on the ground!

People who seek therapy often need help in one of these three areas. If your life isn't working to suit you, take a look at your three-legged stool. Do you believe in your WORK? What are you LOOKING FORWARD TO? Do you have SOMEONE to share with at a deep level?

I Don't Care Who You Are, That's Funny!

THE FATHER WOUND IS HARD TO HEAL

He was 45 years old, had three earned doctorates, was president of a prestigious private college , which was his alma mater and his life-long dream.

He came in for intensive therapy, in his words, "Because I still feel like a 12-year-old boy trying to get my father's approval." He went on, "No matter what I did, it was never enough for my father. And as an adult, after each of my achievements, I feel good about myself for a brief period, then the cloud of despair settles in and I feel like I did at age 12, inadequate, inferior, and hopeless."

Like so many in our culture, this man had been taught that the sunlight of self-esteem would shine brightly through the window of academia and accomplishment. But it isn't so. High achievement is never a permanent cure for a man or woman with a father wound.

The man in this story found some healing for his father wound, with a stroke of sanity, so can you.

Dr. Doyle on Marriage and Divorce

This video is from an interview for divorce-parenting.com Click the link to watch.

Right click the link below and choose "open in a new window" or "new tab"

http://tiny-link.com/vl.asp?h=48311094483QWRWJQ&l=

Truman Said It-- Capote, That Is...

In the introduction to his classic non-fiction novel, In Cold Blood.

"We all have our souls and we all have our facades, and then there's something in between that makes us function as people."

PARENTS GROW, TOO.

The growth and evolution of parents in multi-children families is quite interesting, remarkable, and at times down right humorous. Let me explain. If an honest confession is good for the soul, then I'll take my turn in the tank.

Let's start with the pictures that were made of our three children. Matt was born in 1964 and over the next four years, Martha and I made rolls of home movies of that little guy. I spliced them together and in our collection is at least two solid hours of Matt-- just Matt. Born four years later, we also made home movies of Leanne, but that reel is at best 45 minutes long. Chad came along four years later and we made a couple of snapshots of him with a box camera!!

Take illnesses. If Matt had the sniffles, we called the pediatrician. If Leanne had 102 fever, we gave her a cool bath and a baby aspirin and rocked her to sleep. If Chad swallowed a quarter, I took it out of his allowance!

Now, of course, you know none of the above is totally true but it does have an element of truth in it-- as parents grow with the process of parenting they become much more reasonable, relaxed, and confident.

So, to all you young parents, stay cool, it'll be alright. To all you older parents, tell those younger parents that what I've just said is true.

FIVE RULES FOR HEALTHY LIVING

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
2. Never go anywhere without WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
3. The four most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship– "I apologize" and "You’re right."
4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately– it's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

Funny Bones

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

BEING PREPARED

Vince Lombardi is often quoted as saying Winning isn’t everything, it's the only thing. But that’s a misquote, a bad misquote.

Lombardi’s emphasis was on being prepared to win as being the only way to play a game or do life. You put in everything that is required in order to win and then if you don’t it’s okay, or at least tolerable and you shorten the stroke and try again.

That means if you revive or retrieve your dream, you go into it this time determined to be prepared to win, to make it a reality.

A Little More Rodney...

My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I bought a waterbed and found a guy at the bottom of it.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. In the local restaurant I sat down and had broken leg of lamb.

My wife had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

I asked him, "Who said you could fool around with my wife?" He said, "Everybody."

I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."

I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.

My sex life is terrible; my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

Rodney Dangerfield Classics

Life is just a bowl of pits.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt

Murphy's Law

If bread falls from the table, it will always fall jelly side down.

If anything can go wrong, it will. And it will be all your fault, and everyone will know it.

If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

The hidden flaw never stays hidden for long.

Mother nature is a bitch.

Things get worse under pressure.

Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.

So You Think English is Easy...

We polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

A farm can produce produce.

The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.

The soldier decided to desert in the desert.

The present is a good time to present the present.

At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.

The dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance for the invalid was invalid.

The bandage was wound around the wound.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.

I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt

DRAFTING GUYS OVER 60...

New Direction for any War: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. "My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry." We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, "I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical s-o-b...."

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS !!! You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!

If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!

ANONYMOUS

FINAL REPORT CARD

If you knew you were going to die tonight, how would YOU grade your final report card? From 1-10, with 1 being the worst and 10 being the best, how would you grade yourself in the following areas and why?

Man/Woman_____

Son/Daughter_____

Husband/Wife_____

Father/Mother_____

Sibling_____

Grandfather/Grandmother_____

Career or whatever you call work_____

Overall rating regarding how you used your life_____

*****
If you knew you only had a month to live, what would you try to do before you croaked? (Use back of sheet if needed.)


If you died tonight, (other than being dead!), what would be your greatest regret? (Use back of sheet if needed.)


What is likely to be the cause of your death?


How would you like your epitaph to read?

Gems from Charles Dickens

Minds, like bodies, will often fall into a pimpled, ill-conditioned state from mere excess of comfort.

Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery.

Train up a fig tree in the way it should go, and when you are old sit under the shade of it.

Reflect on your present blessings, of which every man has many; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.

Subdue your appetites, my dears, and you've conquered human nature.

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.

FDR

This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself– nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

Redneck T-- look carefully!!!

Funny Bones

I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but
Thank you for caring enough to call.
I'm making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the
Beep. If I do not return your call,
You're one of the changes."

My wife and I had words,
But I didn't get to use mine.

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

The irony of life is that, by the time
You're old enough to know your way around
You're not going anywhere.

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think
Of an answer for her first question.

I was always taught to respect my elders,
But it keeps getting harder to find one.

Cocoon

I am a being in the cocoon,
Churning, changing, soul consumed.
Pushing, struggling, mind confused,
A battle between left and right ensues.
Mazes, miracles, black and white,
Give me strength to calm this fight.
Darkness holds to doubtful avail,
I will continue blindly on this trail.
Light seems distant but presently so,
One barefoot step rolls heel to toe.
Glimpses of norm flicker behind my clear eye,
Death is coming knowingly, this is its final cry.
I am a being in the cocoon,
Churning, changing, soul consumed.

Jennifer Dethloff

Shakespeare

A wretched soul, bruised with adversity,
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
As much or more we should ourselves complain.

Harry Emerson Fosdick Said It...

God is not a cosmic bellboy for whom we can press a button to get things done.

Hold a picture of yourself long and steadily enough in your mind's eye, and you will be drawn toward it.

The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.

Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to.

Rebellion against your handicaps gets you nowhere. Self-pity gets you nowhere. One must have the adventurous daring to accept oneself as a bundle of possibilities and undertake the most interesting game in the world - making the most of one's best.

Your Fish Is Dead

This piece was written on 7/26/07 by Leanne Doyle Duncan.

Bryce got three goldfish for his 7th birthday last month and the first one,
Max, has passed on to "fishy heaven". I was tucking Bryce in last night
and I noticed LOTS of fish food all around the aquarium and he told me
that Ty was trying to feed them. I was finding a good hiding spot for
the food when I saw one of the fish floating. I didn't want to show
Bryce right before bed (we'd already been working on bedtime for an
hour) b/c I knew it would upset him, so I decided to wait until morning.
A little while later, he came running down the stairs with tears
streaming down his face. Plan A= bad idea.

Kelly and I tried to console him as he sobbed, but nothing was helping. He was absolutely devastated. I guess this is really his first memorable experience with
death. Kelly explained the options for disposing of the fish, but Bryce
wasn't having any of it. We finally convinced him to take him into the
bathroom for a "proper burial".

Bryce changed his mind and turned to take him back to his room and dropped him on the floor! It was all Austin and I could do not to burst out giggling at this point. He wanted Max to stay in the aquarium (floating) in case he came back to life.

I laid with him in his bed with the lights off in the room, but on in the
aquarium, discussing what a good fish Max had been as we watched him
float lifelessly around the top. He cried, "Grandma Janyce hasn't even
seen take a picture of the fish before flushing him. So, I watched as Colby
and Ty took turns holding the dead fish and Bryce took pictures.

We went into the bathroom, Bryce wanted me to say a little prayer (glad
that's not on tape) and he dropped the fish in the toilet. Of course,
Colby couldn't stand to be left out, so he reached up and flushed, Bryce
became frantic scooped Max back up into the cup and began crying
again.

Max is back in the cup of water, next to the aquarium in Bryce's
room! Motherhood brings a surprise everyday! I actually cried as my
son mourned the loss of his first goldish!

Leanne