Have You Seen Herman?

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.....

Good Quotes

There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.
Logan Pearsall Smith

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
Theodore Roosevelt

Not the fruit of experience but experience itself, is the end.
Walter Pater

He thought to become again the child he never was.
Cormac McCarthy-- "The Crossing"

All the happy people I know are people I don’t know well.
Dennis Prager-- "Happiness is a Serious Problem"

Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.
Anonymous

Excavating Buried Dreams

"What have you not done that you've always wanted to do?" It's a
mid-life type question and one I asked of my old college roommate
and fraternity brother, whom I hadn't seen in many years. He named
a couple of things then reversed the question, "How about you?"

Spontaneously I said, "Always wanted to ride cross country on a
motorcycle." "When do you want to go?" he questioned, which was
the beginning of serious plans to do just that. Four months
later, we took two weeks and rode 3500 miles through the mountain
states. And it was great.

Buried dreams can be serious or foolish, childlike or very adult,
for profit or fun, for work or play. And the odds are good that
you could get a lot more living out of life if you started
excavating some old buried dreams.

Long Term Marriage

When a couple was celebrating their 25th anniversary at the church
Marriage Marathon, the minister asked Charlie to take a few minutes
and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same
woman all these years.

Charlie told the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on
her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."

The minister inquired, "Wonderful. Can you give us an example?"

"Well, for our 20th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China."

The minister said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands,
Charlie. Please tell the audience what you're going to do for your wife
on this your 25th anniversary?"

Charlie replied, "I'm going to go back and get her."

Maya Angelou said it...

Women, children, men -- take it into the palms of your hands.

Mold it into the shape of your most private need.

Sculpt it into the image of your most public self.

Lift up your hearts.

Each new hour holds new chances

For new beginnings.

Here on the pulse of this fine day

May you have the grace to look up and out

And into your sister's eyes,

Into your brother's face, your country.

And say simply, very simply -- with hope -- Good Morning.

The Folly of Fundamentalism

Fundamentalism is generally seen as a system of theological dogma
that is the litmus test of faith.

No matter which religion is in question, the reasoning goes that authentic believers subscribe to the dogma and non-believers and second-rate followers do not. But strangely enough, fundamentalism is not about theology nearly as much as it is psychology.

The essence of all flavors of fundamentalism is religious exclusivity and
spiritual arrogance, which is totally about the psychology of low
self-esteem and weak ego strength.

People with healthy self-esteem and ego strength have no reason to be
exclusive or arrogant.

This is pure country... by Brad Paisley

Sittin' on a bench at West Town Mall
He sat down in his overalls and asked me
You waitin' on a woman?
I nodded yeah and said how 'bout you
He said son since 1952 I've been
Waitin' on a woman

When I picked her up for our first date
I told her I'd be there at eight
And she came down the stairs at eight-thirty
She said I'm sorry that I took so long
Didn't like a thing that I tried on
But let me tell you son she sure looked pretty
Yeah she'll take her time but I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

He said the wedding took a year to plan
You talk about an anxious man, I was nervous
Waitin' on a woman
And then he nudged my arm like old men do
And said, I'll say this about the honeymoon, it was worth it
Waitin' on a woman

And I don't guess we've been anywhere
She hasn't made us late I swear
Sometimes she does it just 'cause she can do it
Boy it's just a fact of life
It'll be the same with your young wife
Might as well go on and get used to it
She'll take her time 'cause you don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

Will Rogers said it...

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Taking The Leap of Faith

It was the noted theologian and scholar , Paul Tillich, who
referred to the Christian experience as a "leap of faith."
What he meant was, you can never know for sure, can never have
all the answers, before or after you act. You just make a choice
and take the leap.

That's a great metaphor of life about most aspects of living.
Amidst the ambiguity, ambivalence, and anxiety, well integrated
people learn to act. They celebrate their successes, learn from
their mistakes, grieve normally about their losses, and take the
next leap.

There's an ancient proverb that says, "Leap and the net will
appear." And I would add, "sometimes." Sometimes the net
appears and sometimes you fall on your face. But well adjusted
people keep leaping anyway.

On Dreams and Yearnings

It's probably safe to say that all dreams and inner yearnings
that are good, positive, and life-building come from a divine
source. And the more we move toward our creative dreams, the
closer we move toward the Creator.

So, if you've got an internal "want to" or an urgent fantasy-itch
you can't scratch, and it's passed the test of being good,
positive, and life-building, then go for it with confidence of
divine endorsement.

And remember the more unusual and unorthodox your creative dream,
the more assurance you have that it was stimulated by the Divine
Creator.

Questions that need answers...

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta it's behind."

3. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

4. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

5. Why does an OB-GYN leave the room while a woman gets undressed if
they're going to look up there anyway?

6. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

7. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

8. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

9. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

10. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

As I've Matured...

I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blanket.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I've learned that a child can keep throwing up long after you think they're finished.

I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty
things.

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I've learned that some people don't suffer from insanity, they enjoy it.

I've learned that you are responsible for what you do, unless you are
a celebrity.

I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity.

Words from Charles Darwin

The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.

We must, however, acknowledge as it seems to me, that a man with all his noble qualities...still bears in his bodily frame the indelible stamp of his lowly origin.

Cinderella Syndrome

Our culture is indoctrinated with a myth that is incredibly widespread and terribly damaging. It's the Cinderella Syndrome-- the belief that there is one person who is predestined as our partner, one & only, significant other, husband or wife.

Loving, as we do, to hear Cinderella retold, brings huge success to movies, novels and music. We want to believe that there is a Handsome Prince for every Cinderella and the trick is to keep looking until the slipper fits. Totally stupid television programs like The Bachelor play off this incredibly ridiculous concept and should be totally offensive to any thinking person with one eye and half sense!

This Cinderella syndrome is also played out in current relationships. If your marriage goes sour, it means you just made a mistake in selection, so you end it and look again-- another all too often choice that is equally as untrue and damaging.

The Cincerella/Handsome Prince syndrome is pure myth and produces relational madness. If you've been damaged by it, have a stroke of sanity and get some help.

You know you're living in 2009 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You email your spouse who's in another room in the same house.

3. Your don't stay in touch with friends and family if they don't do e-mail.

4. You haven't sent a hand-written letter in years.

5. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. You are furious when the t.v. remote can't be found or doesn't work.

8. Leaving the house without your cell causes panic and you go back and get it.

9. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

10. You add really silly things nobody cares about on Facebook 3 times a day.

11. You frequently ask your nine-year-old grandchild for help with your cell phone.

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

10 Mark Twain Zingers

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

From SOCRATES Himself

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.

Envy is the ulcer of the soul

The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance.

The unexamined life is not worth living.

THE SKIN HORSE

In her classic story, The Velveteen Rabbit, Margery Williams has the skin horse to say, "Once you're real, you can never be unreal again."

What a powerful description of what it means to take off our masks, drop our labels, prejudices, denials, and defenses.

Far too often, to dodge disapproval, we squelch our true opinions; from the fear of rejection, we silence our beliefs; to avoid confrontation we sacrifice our personal truth.

Which means we accept the slavery of unreal living to avert rejection and disapproval. But living that isn't real, isn't iving at all.

One of the great satisfactions of being a therapist, comes through seeing people set aside the bondage of masks, labels, and defenses and emerge as real, never to be unreal again.

It could happen to you.

HAVEN'T GOT TIME FOR THE PAIN?

Carly Simon sang it, "Haven't Got Time For the Pain." People identified with it, and a classic was born. But such a philosophy of no time for the pain can be hazarduous to your physical and emotional health.

Pain is nature's way of telling you to make some adjustments. Hence the avoidance of pain can be very serious. To avoid pain by abusing drugs, alcohol, work, or food, is disastrous. If you haven't got time for the pain, you're too busy. If you take time for the pain, in a creative healthy way, you are enhancing healing.

Feelings denied is healing delayed. Feeling is for healing and denying the pain, masking it, or distracting it, is delaying the healing processes. If you get some therapy for your pain, you'll probably say, "I wish I'd taken time for this long ago."

OLD FRIENDS

Old Friends-
Pitchin' pennies in the park
Playin' croquette till it's dark
Old Friends.

Old Friends-
Swappin' lies of life and loves
Pitchin' popcorn to the doves
Old Friends.

Old Friends-
Lookin' up to watch a bird
Holdin' arms to climb a curb
Old Friends.

Old Friends-
Lord, when all my work is done
Bless my life, and grant me one
Old Friend.
Just one Old Friend.

Written by Roger Miller
Sung by Willie Nelson & Roger Miller

1st Grader Proverb

When the blind leadeth the blind... somebody's gonna get hurt!

Ralph Waldo Emerson Said It...

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ancient Chinese Proverb

When the student is ready, the TEACHER will arise.