In Case You're Ever on Jeopardy

There are 95 cities in China with population of 1 million or more. How many cities in the USA have 1 million or more? Six! What's the point? There are a lot of folks in China!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HUMOR THERAPY

A Dozen Ways to Aid "Going Sane"

1. At lunch time, sit In your car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars-- then count the number of cars that slow down!

2. Page yourself over the intercom and don't disguise your voice.

3. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine highs, switch to Espresso.

4. In The Memo Field of all your checks, write For Smuggling Diamonds.

5. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

6. Next time you go out to eat, order a diet water.

7. Next time you get a burger at a drive-through, say, "This order is to go."

8. Five days In advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because
you'll be having a bad day.

9. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"

10. When leaving the zoo, run toward the parking lot, yelling
"Run for your lives! They're loose!"

11. Over dinner, announce to your children, "Due to the economy, we have to let one of you go."

12. And the final way to continue Going Sane .

Send "humor therapy" to everyone in your address book!

Funny Bones

Man who run in front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE-- THESE ARE FUNNY!!!!!!!!!

9/11/2001

Where were you when you got the news on 9/11? No doubt every reader of this column can remember it all too well. Among the many things that strike me as I reminisce about that infamous day, and the days that followed, is the sense of unity that pervaded our nation. We were "one" for a time like no other in my memory and our country had support and empathy from people around the world, that too, like no other in my lifetime.

But, as Bob Dylan said, "Things Have Changed" and have they ever?! Why? How could this have happened? How could we have been so unified seven years ago and so divided today? How could we go from being globally surrounded with support from countries near and far, to being in the exact opposite position today? I won't try to answer for you but I have my own opinion and I'll just leave it at that.

And once again I'll pause to remember 9/11/01. Will you join me?

Life's Three-legged Stool

A well-balanced life is like a three-legged stool.
You need WORK that you believe in;
SOMETHING to look forward to;
And SOMEONE to share with at a deep emotional level.

If you have all three legs going in your life, you are in good balance and well-integrated. With two legs you can make it, though you have to sit on the stool cautiously. If you sit on the stool with great concentration and determination,you can even survive with one leg. But if all three legs are missing or greatly impaired? Your bottom is on the ground!

People who seek therapy often need help in one of these three areas. If your life isn't working to suit you, take a look at your three-legged stool. Do you believe in your WORK? What are you LOOKING FORWARD TO? Do you have SOMEONE to share with at a deep level?

By the way, these three legs translate-- faith, hope, and love.