Thoughts for Memorial Day

On thy grave the rain shall fall from the eyes of a mighty nation!
~Thomas William Parsons

Although no sculptured marble should rise to their memory, nor engraved stone bear record of their deeds, yet will their remembrance be as lasting as the land they honored. ~Daniel Webster

With the tears a Land hath shed
Their graves should ever be green.~Thomas Bailey Aldrich

Are they dead that yet speak louder than we can speak, and a more universal language? Are they dead that yet act? Are they dead that yet move upon society and inspire the people with nobler motives and more heroic patriotism? ~Henry Ward Beecher

Green sods are all their monuments; and yet it tells
A nobler history than pillared piles,
Or the eternal pyramids.~James Gates Percival

Is't death to fall for Freedom's right?
He's dead alone who lacks her light!~Thomas Campbell

For love of country they accepted death... ~James A. Garfield

They fell, but o'er their glorious grave
Floats free the banner of the cause they died to save.~Francis Marion Crawford

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. ~From a headstone in Ireland

Blow out, you bugles, over the rich Dead!
There's none of these so lonely and poor of old,
But, dying, has made us rarer gifts than gold.~Rupert Brooke

The brave die never, though they sleep in dust:
Their courage nerves a thousand living men.~Minot J. Savage

The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example. ~Benjamin Disraeli

And I'm proud to be an American,
where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.~Lee Greenwood

They are dead; but they live in each Patriot's breast,
And their names are engraven on honor's bright crest.~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

How About Some Chauvinistic Sexist Humor?!

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
keep her. David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. Anonymous

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Sigmund Freud

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. Anonymous

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. Sam Kinison

I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn't. James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up. Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. Nash

You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to. Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met. Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'.. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.' Anonymous

The Best is Yet to Come

A woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and given three months to live, was getting her things "in order," so, she contacted her pastor to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.

She told him which songs she wanted sung and which scriptures read at her funeral. "There's one more thing," she said excitedly. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."

The pastor stood looking at the woman, not knowing quite what to say.

"That surprises you, doesn't it?" the woman asked.

"Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the pastor.

The woman explained. "In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, when the dishes of the main course are being cleared, someone inevitably will announce, 'Keep your fork.' And everyone knows that a great dessert is coming-- like chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie; something wonderful!"

"So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand, and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then, I want you to tell them: 'Keep your fork - the best is yet to come.'"

40 Tips for an Exceptional, Superb & Powerful Life!

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. Buy a Tivo (DVR), tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My purpose is to___________ today."
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy.
6. Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did in 2009.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10.Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in "plants."
11. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14.Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15.Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16.Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17.Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
18.Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19.Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20.Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21.You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22.Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
23.Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24.Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie (not you guys.) Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
25.No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26.Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27.Forgive everyone for everything.
28.What other people think of you is none of your business.
29.Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
30.However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31.Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
32.Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
33.Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
34.The best is yet to come.
35.No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
36.Do the right thing!
37.Call your family often.
38.Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: "I am thankful for __________." Today I accomplished _________.
39.Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
40.Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

THE IMPORTANCE OF WALKING?!

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we don't know where he is.

I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,......
just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.





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A LITTLE CHILD SHALL LEAD THEM?!

THE FOLLOWING ARE RESPONSES GIVEN BY 1ST GRADERS WHO FILLED IN THE SECOND HALF TO SOME WELL KNOWN PROVERBS-- WELL, AT LEAST THEY ARE WELL-KNOWN TO US OLD FOLKS.

1. Don't change horses-- until they stop running.

2. Strike while the-- bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before-- Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of-- termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but-- How?

6. Don't bite the hand that-- looks dirty.

7. No news is-- impossible.

8. A miss is as good as a-- Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog new-- Math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll-- stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust-- Me.

12. The pen is mightier than the-- pigs.

13. An idle mind-- is the best way to relax.

14. Where there's smoke there's-- pollution.

15. Happy the bride who-- gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is-- not much.

17. Two's company, three's-- the Musketeers.

18. Don't put off till tomorrow-- what you put on to go to bed.

19. Laugh & the world laughs with you, cry and-- You have to blow your nose.

20. There are none so blind as-- Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not-- spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don't succeed-- get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what you-- See in the picture on the box.

24. When the blind lead the blind-- get out of the way.

25. A bird in the hand-- is going to poop on you.

And the WINNER and last one!

26. Better late than-- pregnant.

ORIGIN OF MOTHER'S DAY

Mother's Day began by a man from Cleveland who hated his mother and intended to kill her but changed his mind for fear of being caught. NO NO NO. I just made that up!!!! Here's the real story.

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Historical Antecedents

Mother's Day emerged from a custom of mother worship in ancient Greece, which kept a festival to Cybele, a great mother of Greek gods.{Encyclopædia Britannica|(1959)Vol.15,p. 849} This festival was held around the Vernal Equinox around Asia Minor and eventually in Rome itself from the Ides of March (15 March) to 18 March.

The ancient Romans also had another holiday, Matronalia, that was dedicated to Juno, though mothers were usually given gifts on this day.

In Europe there were several long standing traditions where a specific Sunday was set aside to honor motherhood and mothers such as Mothering Sunday. Mothering Sunday celebrations are part of the liturgical calendar in several Christian denominations, including Anglicans, and in the Catholic calendar is marked as Laetare Sunday, the fourth Sunday in Lent to honour the Virgin Mary and your "mother" church (the main church of the area). Historians think that children who served in houses were given a day off on that date so they could visit their families. The children would pick wild flowers along the way to place them on the church or to give them to their mothers as gifts.[1]

International Women's Day was celebrated for the first time in 28 February 1909, in the US,[2] by which time Anna Jarvis had already begun her national campaign in the US. It is now celebrated in many countries on March 8.

The "Mother's Day Proclamation" by Julia Ward Howe was one of the early calls to celebrate Mother's Day in the United States. Written in 1870, Howe's Mother's Day Proclamation was a pacifist reaction to the carnage of the American Civil War and the Franco-Prussian War. The Proclamation was tied to Howe's feminist belief that women had a responsibility to shape their societies at the political level.

Spelling
In 1912, Anna Jarvis trademarked the phrases "second Sunday in May" and "Mother's Day", and created the Mother's Day International Association.[3][4]

"She was specific about the location of the apostrophe; it was to be a singular possessive, for each family to honour their mother, not a plural possessive commemorating all mothers in the world."[3]
This is also the spelling used by U.S. President Woodrow Wilson in the law making official the holiday in the U.S., by the U.S. Congress on bills,[5][6] and by other U.S. presidents on their declarations.[7]

Common usage in English language also dictates that the ostensibly singular possessive "Mother's Day" is the preferred spelling, although "Mothers' Day" (plural possessive) is not unheard of.

Dates around the world
As the US holiday was adopted by other countries and cultures, the date was changed to fit already existing celebrations honouring motherhood, like Mothering Sunday in the UK or the Orthodox celebration of Jesus in the temple in Greece. In some countries it was changed to dates that were significant to the majority religion, like the Virgin Mary day in Catholic countries, or the birthday of the daughter of the Prophet Muhammad in Islamic countries. Other countries changed it to historical dates, like Bolivia using the date of a certain battle where women participated.[8] See the "International history and traditions" section for the complete list.

Note: Countries that celebrate the International Women's Day instead of Mother's Day are marked with a dagger '†'.[clarification needed]

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AND NOW YOU KNOW. BUT I SWEAR I THOUGHT HALLMARK DID THE WHOLE THING!

Quotes about Mothers

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~Tenneva Jordan

Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,
Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,
Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,
But only one mother the wide world over.
~George Cooper

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs... since the payment is pure love. ~Mildred B. Vermont

The sweetest sounds to mortals given
Are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven.
~William Goldsmith Brown

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. ~Peter De Vries

If the whole world were put into one scale, and my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam. ~Lord Langdale (Henry Bickersteth)

Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. ~Author Unknown

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh

All mothers are working mothers. ~Author Unknown

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.
~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. ~Marion C. Garretty

Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries.
~T. DeWitt Talmage

A mother is a mother still,
The holiest thing alive.
~Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men - from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.
~Oliver Wendell Holmes

God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. ~Jewish Proverb

A mother understands what a child does not say. ~Author Unknown

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. ~Abraham Lincoln

My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller

Woman in the home has not yet lost her dignity, in spite of Mother's Day, with its offensive implication that our love needs an annual nudging, like our enthusiasm for the battle of Bunker Hill. ~John Erskine

Women's Liberation is just a lot of foolishness. It's the men who are discriminated against. They can't bear children. And no one's likely to do anything about that. ~Golda Meir

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories. ~John Wilmot

You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back. ~William D. Tammeus

Five Rules for Healthy Living

1. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her- believe them.

2. Perhaps the best advice your mother gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!"

3. If you’re over 50, never pass up an opportunity to use the bathroom.

4. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

5. Living well really is the best revenge.

Quotes from the Kite Runner

"It’s hard to love somebody who sees the world as black and white, without also fearing them.”

“I know it doesn’t absolve anyone of anything, but the Kabul we lived in in those days was a strange world, one in which some things mattered more than the truth.”

“Sometimes, I think everything he did, feeding the poor on the streets, building the orphanage, giving money to friends in need, it was all his way of redeeming himself. And that, I believe, is what true redemption, is, Amir jan, when guilt leads to good."

"Perspective was a luxury when your head was constantly buzzing with a swarm of demons.”

“I thought of a line I’d read somewhere, or maybe I’d heard someone say it: There are a lot of children in Afghanistan, but little childhood.”

More Humor about the Flood

The Wolf River is so high, you can see under it...

DOUBT YOU WILL BELIEVE THIS, BUT...

An hour after it stopped raining today, a bucket in our backyard ran over for another 30 minutes?! dd

A Little Humor is Good for the Soul

"The doctors told me I only had six months to live. But after six months I still hadn't paid my bill, so, they gave me another six months." Boxcar Willie