WAR IS A RACKET

War is a racket. It always has been.
It is possibly the oldest, easily the most profitable,
surely the most vicious.

It is the only one international in scope.

It is the only one in which the profits are reckoned
in dollars and the losses in lives.

A racket is best described, I believe, as something
that is not what it seems to the majority of people.

Only a small “inside” group knows what it is about.

It is conducted for the benefit of the very few, at the expense of the very many.

Out of war a few people make huge fortunes.

Major General Smedley D. Butler
US Marine Corps
Two-time winner Congressional Medal of Honor
1935

WHATEVER IT TAKES...

TOO GOOD NOT TO BE TRUE!

Jasper and the Unbaked Yeast Rolls

We have a fox terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to us in the summer of 2001 from the fox terrier rescue program. For those of you, who are unfamiliar with this type of adoption, imagine taking in a 10 year old child about whom you know nothing and committing to doing your best to be a good parent.

Like a child, the dog came with his own idiosyncrasies. He will only sleep on the bed, on top of the covers, nuzzled as close to my face as he can get without actually performing a French kiss on me.

Lest you think this is a bad case of 'no discipline,' I should tell you that Perry and I tried every means to break him of this habit including locking him in a separate bedroom for several nights. The new door cost over $200. But I digress.

Five weeks ago we began remodeling our house. Although the cost of the project is downright obnoxious, it was 20 years overdue AND it got me out of cooking Thanksgiving for family, extended family, and a lot of friends that I like more than family most of the time.

I was assigned the task of preparing 124 of my famous yeast dinner rolls for the two Thanksgiving feasts we did attend. I am still cursing the electrician for getting the new oven hooked up so quickly. It was the only appliance in the whole darn house that worked, thus the assignment.

I made the decision to cook the rolls on Wed evening to reheat Thurs am. Since the kitchen was freshly painted, you can imagine the odor. Not wanting the rolls to smell like Sherwin Williams #586, I put the rolls on baking sheets and set them in the living room to rise for a few hours. Perry and I decided to go out to eat, returning in about an hour. The rolls were ready to go in the oven.

It was 8:30 PM. When I went to the living room to retrieve the pans, much to my shock one whole pan of 12 rolls was empty. I called out to Jasper and my worst nightmare became a reality. He literally wobbled over to me He looked like a combination of the Pillsbury dough boy and the Michelin Tire man wrapped up in fur. He groaned when he walked. I swear even his cheeks were bloated.

I ran to the phone and called our vet. After a few seconds of uproarious laughter, he told me the dog would probably be OK, however, I needed to give him Pepto Bismol every 2 hours for the rest of the night.

God only knows why I thought a dog would like Pepto Bismol any more than my kids did when they were sick. Suffice it to say that by the time we went to bed the dog was black, white and pink He was so bloated we had to lift him onto the bed for the night.

We arose at 7:30 and as we always do first thing; put the dog out to relieve himself. Well, the dog was as drunk as a sailor on his first leave. He was running into walls, falling flat on his butt and most of the time when he was walking his front half was going one direction and the other half was either dragging the grass or headed 90 degrees in another direction.

He couldn't lift his leg to pee, so he would just walk and pee at the same time. When he ran down the small incline in our back yard he couldn't stop himself and nearly ended up running into the fence.

His pupils were dilated and he was as dizzy as a loon. I endured another few seconds of laughter from the vet (second call within 12 hours) before he explained that the yeast had fermented in his belly and that he was indeed drunk.

He assured me that, not unlike most binges we humans go through, it would wear off after about 4 or 5 hours and to keep giving him Pepto Bismol. Afraid to leave him by himself in the house, Perry and I loaded him up and took him with us to my sister's house for the first Thanksgiving meal of the day.

My sister lives outside of Muskogee on a ranch, (10 to 15 minute drive). Rolls firmly secured in the trunk (124 less 12) and drunk dog leaning from the back seat onto the console of the car between Perry and I, we took off.

Now I know you probably don't believe that dogs burp, but believe me when I say that after eating a tray of risen unbaked yeast rolls, DOGS WILL BURP. These burps were pure Old Charter. They would have matched or beat any smell in a drunk tank at the police station. But that's not the worst of it.

Now he was beginning to fart and they smelled like baked rolls. God strike me dead if I am not telling the truth! We endured this for the entire trip to Karen's, thankful she didn't live any further away than she did.

Once Jasper was firmly placed in my sister's garage with the door locked, we finally sat down to enjoy our first Thanksgiving meal of the day. The dog was the topic of conversation all morning long and everyone made trips to the garage to witness my drunken dog, each returning with a tale of Jasper's latest endeavor to walk without running into something. Of course, as the old adage goes, 'what goes in must come out' and Jasper was no exception.

Granted if it had been me that had eaten 12 risen, unbaked yeast rolls, you might as well have put a concrete block up my behind, but alas a dog's digestive system is quite different from yours or mine. I discovered this was a mixed blessing when we prepared to leave Karen's house. Having discovered his 'packages' on the garage floor, we loaded him up in the car so we could hose down the floor.

This was another naive decision on our part. The blast of water from the hose hit the poop on the floor and the poop on the floor with stood the blast from the hose. It was like Portland cement beginning to set up and cure.

We finally tried to remove it with a shovel. I (obviously no one else was going to offer their services) had to get on my hands and knees with a coarse brush to get the remnants off of the floor. And as if this wasn't degrading enough, the darn dog in his drunken state had walked through the poop and left paw prints all over the garage floor that had to be brushed too.

Well, by this time the dog was sobering up nicely so we took him home and dropped him off before we left for our second Thanksgiving dinner at Perry's sister's house.

I am happy to report that as of today (Monday) the dog is back to normal both in size and temperament. He has had a bath and is no longer tricolor. None the worse for wear I presume. I am also happy to report that just this evening I found 2 risen unbaked yeast rolls hidden inside my closet door.

It appears he must have come to his senses after eating 10 of them but decided hiding 2 of them for later would not be a bad idea. Now, I'm doing research on the computer as to: 'How to clean unbaked dough from the carpet.'

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

ONE MAN’S TRASH...

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Thus goes the maxim. Does that mean everything is relative? Answering that question or debating that topic would require more than this article will allow. So, this piece will steer clear of the concept of moral relativism and focus instead on the issue of attitudional and experiential relativism which will require at least two posts, maybe more. To begin this discussion, I'll tell a story-- no surprise there, huh?!

At the time this story occured, my office was on the PGA Tournament Players Club on the Southwind Golf Course. Fifty feet from the second green of this multi-million dollar golf course, to say my office had a great view is a gross understatement which is crucial for the story about Ralph (not his real name.)

In his mid-30's, Ralph was a blue collar laborer who lived pay check to pay check with his wife and young child. As he entered my office, the first time he came to see me, he walked straight to the twelve-foot ceiling to floor plate glass windows that looked out on the fairway. Standing there staring, he shook his head.

Sensing his awe, I said, “Pretty sight, huh?!” “Wow. This view is amazing!” “You play golf, do you?” I asked. And in a gesture that looked exactly like Barney Fife, he turned to me, pulled at his belt and said, “Yeah I do. I play a little Putt Putt now and then.” And he was totally serious.

What did I say? Nothing! I bit my lip, ducked into my break room, poured a hot cup of coffee, took a swig in hopes the burn would keep me from bursting into an embarrassing belly laugh.

Ater listening to Ralph for a while, I shamefully realized for the umpteenth time in my life that life really is relative. To some of us playing golf on a Tournament Players course and playing Putt Putt are worlds apart, but to this man and multiplied millions, they are totally equal-- just recreation, diversion, and a game.

Thank you Ralph, I needed that to remind that all of us really are just bozos on the same bus.

MEN AT WORK

5 More Rules for Healthy Living

1. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her- believe them.

2. Perhaps the best advice your mother gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!"

3. If you’re over 50, never pass up an opportunity to use the bathroom.

4. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

5. Living well really is the best revenge.

FIVES RULES FOR HEALTHY LIVING

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
2. Never go anywhere without WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
3. The four most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship– "I apologize" and "You’re right."
4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately– it's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

ON THE OTHER HAND...

A former lawyer and judge, Noah S. 'Soggy' Sweat Jr., delivery his famous "Whiskey Speech" in 1952. The ''Whisky Speech'' was political doubletalk at its finest. The speech was delivered in response to the issue of legalizing the sale of liquor in Mississippi. In light of this being a huge election year, it seems appropriate to include this political sidestepping classic.


My friends, I had not intended to discuss this controversial subject at this particular time. However, I want you to know that I do not shun controversy. On the contrary, I will take a stand on any issue at any time, regardless of how fraught with controversy it might be. You have asked me how I feel about whisky. All right, here is how I feel about whisky.


If when you say whisky you mean the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster, that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean the evil drink that topples the Christian man and woman from the pinnacle of righteous, gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation, and despair, and shame and helplessness, and hopelessness, then certainly I am against it.


But, iIf when you say whisky you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and laughter on their lips, and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer; if you mean the stimulating drink that puts the spring in the old gentleman's step on a frosty, crispy morning; if you mean the drink which enables a man to magnify his joy, and his happiness, and to forget, if only for a little while, life's great tragedies, and heartaches, and sorrows; if you mean that drink, the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars, which are used to provide tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitiful aged and infirm; to build highways and hospitals and schools, then certainly I am for it.


This is my stand. I will not retreat from it. I will not compromise.

FROM ONE FRIEND TO ANOTHER

When you are sad... I will dry your tears.
When you are scared... I will comfort your fears.

When you are worried... I will give you hope.
When you are confused... I will help you cope.

And when you are lost... and can't see the light,
I shall be your beacon... shining ever so bright.

This is my oath... I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask? Because you're my friend.

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE HUMOR THERAPY

Man who run in front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE-- THESE ARE FUNNY!!!!!!!!!

Lost and Looking?

Many people who come to see me for intensive therapy totally identify with this song. Written by Bono and released by U2 in 1987, it's still extremely relevant. After reading the lyrics, check out YouTube and listen to this haunting search for purpose and passion in life.

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you

I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her fingertips
It burned like fire
This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
Well yes I'm still running

You broke the bonds and you
Loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Of my shame
You know I believed it

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for...

RELIGIOUS FREEDOM

From Senator Barry Goldwater-- 9/16/81

On religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being.

But like any powerful weapon, the use of God's name on one's behalf should be used sparingly. The religious factions that are growing throughout our land are not using their religious clout with wisdom. They are trying to force government leaders into following their position 100 percent. If you disagree with these religious groups on a particular moral issue, they complain, they threaten you with a loss of money or votes or both.

I'm frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in 'A,' 'B,' 'C,' and 'D.' Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me?

And I am even more angry as a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group who thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll call in the Senate. I am warning them today: I will fight them every step of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans in the name of 'conservatism'.

MISDIRECTED ANGER

She was angry. I mean angrrrry! Actually she was enraged and her husband was the villian and the victim. In her eyes, her fury was justified because of his infidelity more than two years prior. Yet, with alot of marital therapy, she professed to have "forgiven him." However, every time he did the slightest thing to irritate her, she exploded with profane name calling and at times threw dishes at him or whatever else was handy.

Did she have a right to be mad because of his indiscretion? Yes. Was she justified in her outrageous behavior? No. Due to having forgiven him, at least intellectually, was the intensity of her anger (two years after the transgression) excessive? Without question. Why? Why did she still have a hair trigger for unloading on her husband? The answer? Her intense anger was grossly misdirected. Why do I say that? Because...

As a girl, she had been physically and sexually abused by her brother, uncle, and a teenage boyfriend who was a sexual bully and she was his prey. All three of these men were sexual predators but due to a lack of opportunity to direct her anger at the appropriate men, she had transferred it all to her husband. She certainly had grounds to be angry at her husband but he didn't deserve the rage that had been caused by these other men in her life.

With some intensive therapy, she unloaded a lot of baggage in the right direction, got some healing, and with time and hard work, she stopped raging at her husband.

If you're misdirecting anger, you're probably hurting some undeserving people. Some good therapy could be extremely valuable to you and them.

Quotes from Fr. John Powell

If I am to tell you who I really am,
I must tell you about my feelings.

The sun only shines, just as God only loves.
It is the nature of the sun to shine;
It is the nature of God to love.

Fully alive people are sensitively aware
Of all that is good in themselves.

Love is practiced in the act of sharing...
Communication is the very essence of love in practice.

Whatever my secrets are,
Remember when I entrust them to you,
They are part of me.

DON DOYLE'S SELF-HELP PRODUCTS THAT WORK

BLOG SPECIAL-- 60% Discount on all products.

DVD: $15.00 plus $3.00 S&H

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BOOKS: $10.00 plus $3.00 S&H

HEROES OF THE HEART-- Treasured Stories of Hurt, Hate, Horror, and Humor

CHANGE IS A CHOICE-- Common People Who Made Uncommon Choices

THE COURAGE TO CHANGE YOUR MIND... IS THE POWER TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE

BACKTRACKING THROUGH THE 50'S-- Explores the way we were or the way we never were?!

WORDS TO PONDER

The most destructive habit? Worry.

The greatest joy? Giving.

The greatest loss? Loss of self-respect.

The most satisfying work? Helping others.

The ugliest personality trait? Self-centeredness.

The most endangered species? Dedicated leaders.

Our greatest natural resource? Our youth.

The greatest "shot in the arm"? Encouragement.

The greatest problem to overcome? Fear.

The most effective sleeping pill? Peace of mind.

The most crippling failure disease? Excuses.

The most powerful force in life? Love.

PERKS FOR BEING OVER 60

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run-- anywhere.
4. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
5. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
6. Things you buy now won't wear out.
7. Your secrets are safe with friends because they can't remember them either.
8. Your joints are more accurate forecasters than the national weather service.
9. You can sing along with elevator music.
10.You can live without sex but not your glasses.

PUT THE GLASS DOWN

How heavy is a glass of water? Depending on the size of the glass-- maybe 20 grams, or maybe 500 grams? It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold it.

If you hold it for a minute, it’s okay. If you hold it for an hour, you will have an ache in your arm. If you hold it for a day, somebody will have to call an ambulance. It is the exact same weight, but the longer it’s held, the heavier it becomes. What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while before picking it up again.

Likewise, if we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we will not be able to carry on because they become increasingly heavier. We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed and are able to carry on.

So, before the day is over, as the old spiritual says, "lay your burden down." You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burden you’re carrying on your shoulders, lay it down for a while. Pick it up again later when you’ve rested.

Rest and Relax.

Life is short, enjoy it!!

THE COLOR PURPLE

Introducing herself, she said, "I grew up in the color purple." She went on to explain that she had survived her childhood in a terrible ghetto in Mississippi and had scratched and clawed her way to a high ranking position as a military chaplain.

With advanced degrees in theology, psychology, and personnel management she had a very impressive resume. But she was not happy.

Later in a therapy session, she cried out in deep despair, "Grandmama you told me with a good education, I could leave the ghetto behind. Grandmama, you were wrong. I got the good education but the ghetto is still living inside." And that was the beginning of her journey toward wholeness.

When will we ever learn? You can't fix inside problems with outside solutions. She couldn't, neither can you.

HUMOR THERAPY

A Dozen Ways to Aid "Going Sane"

1. At lunch time, sit In your car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars-- then count the number of cars that slow down!

2. Page yourself over the intercom and don't disguise your voice.

3. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine highs, switch to Espresso.

4. In The Memo Field of all your checks, write For Smuggling Diamonds.

5. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

6. Next time you go out to eat, order a diet water.

7. Next time you get a burger at a drive-through, say, "This order is to go."

8. Five days In advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because
you'll be having a bad day.

9. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"

10. When leaving the zoo, run toward the parking lot, yelling
"Run for your lives! They're loose!"

11. Over dinner, announce to your children, "Due to the economy, we have to let one of you go."

12. And the final way to continue Going Sane-- Send "humor therapy" to everyone in your address book!

Okay, Okay, , I'M SHAMELESS but...

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"HUMOROUS ADVICE" FROM ANGRY WOMEN

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same- they just have different faces, so you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

Quotes from Henry Sloane Coffin-- former Chaplain at Yale University

"Even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat."

"Every nation makes decisions based on self-interest and then defends them in the name of morality."

"Hell is truth seen too late."

"Nationalism, at the expense of another nation, is just as wicked as racism at the expense of another race."

"Love measures our stature: the more we love the bigger we are."

"There is no smaller package in all the world than that of a man all wrapped up in himself."

"The glory of God is a human being fully alive."

THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A REDNECK SAY...

"You can’t feed that to the dog!"

"Wrasslin’s fake."

"I thought Graceland was tacky."

"Who’s Richard Petty?"

"I’ve got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl."

"Checkmate."

"Does this salad bar have bean sprouts?"

"She’s too old to be wearing that bikini."

"Alex, I’ll take Shakespeare for $100."

LIFE'S THREE-LEGGED STOOL

A well-balanced life is like a three-legged stool.
You need WORK that you believe in;
SOMETHING to look forward to;
And SOMEONE to share with at a deep emotional level.

If you have all three legs going in your life, you are in good balance and well-integrated. With two legs you can make it, though you have to sit on the stool cautiously. If you sit on the stool with great concentration and determination,you can even survive with one leg. But if all three legs are missing or greatly impaired? Your bottom is on the ground!

People who seek therapy often need help in one of these three areas. If your life isn't working to suit you, take a look at your three-legged stool. Do you believe in your WORK? What are you LOOKING FORWARD TO? Do you have SOMEONE to share with at a deep level?

I Don't Care Who You Are, That's Funny!

THE FATHER WOUND IS HARD TO HEAL

He was 45 years old, had three earned doctorates, was president of a prestigious private college , which was his alma mater and his life-long dream.

He came in for intensive therapy, in his words, "Because I still feel like a 12-year-old boy trying to get my father's approval." He went on, "No matter what I did, it was never enough for my father. And as an adult, after each of my achievements, I feel good about myself for a brief period, then the cloud of despair settles in and I feel like I did at age 12, inadequate, inferior, and hopeless."

Like so many in our culture, this man had been taught that the sunlight of self-esteem would shine brightly through the window of academia and accomplishment. But it isn't so. High achievement is never a permanent cure for a man or woman with a father wound.

The man in this story found some healing for his father wound, with a stroke of sanity, so can you.

Dr. Doyle on Marriage and Divorce

This video is from an interview for divorce-parenting.com Click the link to watch.

Right click the link below and choose "open in a new window" or "new tab"

http://tiny-link.com/vl.asp?h=48311094483QWRWJQ&l=