Deliberate Living

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to confront only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854)

NEVER STOP LAUGHING

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very
elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she
replied. 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?

*****

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is
the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked. She simply
replied, 'No peer pressure.'

******

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

*****

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip
replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half
blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40
different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly
feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have
lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

******

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my
doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I
decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted,
gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the
time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

******

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she
had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. 'Wal-Mart?' the
preacher exclaimed. 'Why Wal-Mart?' 'Then I'll be sure my
daughters visit me twice a week'

******

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as
sharp as it used to be.

*****

THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I
never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.

*****

Always Remember This: You don't stop laughing
because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing

CHANGE

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful, it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful, it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident, it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.

King Whitney Jr.

TOP TEN WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) "Fine": This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) "Five Minutes": If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) "Nothing": This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in "fine."

(4) "Go Ahead": This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) "Loud Sigh": Actually this is not a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) "That's Okay": This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

( 7) "Thanks": Reply "You're welcome." (However, a word of caution-- this is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' which means she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'-- that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) "Whatever": Is a woman's way of saying "*$^@-- YOU!"

(9) "Don't worry about it, I got it.": Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

(10) "Do you think I'm your mother?!" Do not reply to this one at all. Pretend to be having a heart attack and whisper "Call 9-1-1."

THE PROGRESSION OF A GRIEF OBSERVED

My special friend, Dr. Kevin Merigian, lost his dear wife in June, 2009. At 49 years, she lived a full life in a very short time. The following poem is a classic example of the process of loss by someone who has looked grief square in the eye and won the battle. God bless him!

SOMEHOW I MAKE IT THROUGH

There are those painful days.
Sun rises in the morning.
I experience the agony of breathing.
I know that you're not here beside me.
I know that you can't return.
I know that you can't touch me again.
I know that I can't hold you close.

Somehow I make it through those painful days.

There are those not-so-painful days.
Sun rises in the morning.
I experience the work of breathing.
I know that you're not here beside me.
I know that you can't return.
I know that you can't touch me again.
I know that I can't hold you close.

Somehow I make it through those not-so-painful days.

The painless days are ahead.
The sun will rise in the morning.
I will experience unconscious breathing again.
I know that you will not be here beside me.
I know that you will not return.
I know that you will not touch me again.
I know that I will not hold you close again.

Somehow I will make it through those painless days.

Some days the tears seem almost artificial.
The crying is always real.

I miss you.

Kevin S “Kiki” Merigian © October 20, 2009

From Barry Goldwater of Arizona

Politics [is] the art of achieving the maximum amount of freedom for individuals that is consistent with the maintenance of social order.

I'm not sure I've even got the brains to be President.

BEWARE OF THE CRITICAL MOMENTS THAT SHAPE US...

In puzzlement Truman Capote was trying to understand how he (who was a world renowned author) and Perry Smith (who was a cold bloodied murderer) could have turned out so differently. Both of them had alcoholic parents who basically abandoned both. Each of them grew up in foster homes or with extended family members, yet they turned out so radically different.

Said Capote, puzzled: We grew up in the same household, but I went out the front door, and he went out the back.

DO WE NEED TO READ THIS ONCE A DAY?

In his first inaugural address, President Franklin Roosevelt said these words:

So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear... is fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. In every dark hour of our national life a leadership of frankness and vigor has met with that understanding and support of the people themselves which is essential to victory. I am convinced that you will again give that support to leadership in these critical days.

Can You Relate to This One?

Riding the RodeKing this afternoon in the Southern Arizona desert, for some strange reason, I remembered hearing a man say about his nephew: That boy's got a lot of talk in him but not much listen.

Tagline for Million Dollar Baby

Beyond his silence, there is a past. Beyond her dreams, there is a feeling. Beyond hope, there is a memory. Beyond their journey, there is a love.

Wounds of the Soul

"A broken nose don’t hurt that much. But some wounds are too deep or too close to the bone and no matter how hard you work at it, you just can’t stop the bleeding."
From: Million Dollar Baby

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

If life is a highway and the soul is a car, sometimes things in the rear view mirror seem closer than they are. MEAT LOAF

FREEDOM

My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular. Adlai E. Stevenson

Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom. Albert Einstein

The basis of a democratic state is liberty. Aristotle

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Benjamin Franklin

If you want to be free, there is but one way; it is to guarantee an equally full measure of liberty to all your neighbors. There is no other. Carl Schurz

We hold in our hands, the most precious gift of all: Freedom. The freedom to express our art. Our love. The freedom to be who we want to be. We are not going to give that freedom away and no one shall take it from us!
Diane Frolov & Andrew Schneider

Only the educated are free. Epictetus

THE PARADOX OF PARENTING

My daughter, Leanne Duncan, gave the best explanation of the paradox of parenting that I've ever heard: DAYS ARE LONG, YEARS ARE SHORT.

Tough Economy

Tag Line-- Grace Cathedral (San Francisco)

"Reconnecting your Spirit without disconnecting your Mind."

QUOTES FROM CONFUCIUS

Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.

Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.

Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.

He who will not economize will have to agonize.

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star.

It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.

Men's natures are alike, it is their habits that carry them far apart.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.

Sometimes We Need a Reality Check.

Albert Einstein Said It...

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.

Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.

Ethical axioms are found and tested not very differently from the axioms of science. Truth is what stands the test of experience.

Every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.

Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

3 More Crucial Lessons in Life

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
B.S. might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

CRUCIAL LESSONS IN LIFE

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized, "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk, "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!"' says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says: "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

MAKING A BABY?

Barney and Blanche were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Barney kissed his wife goodbye and said, “Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.”

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

“Good morning, Ma'am,” he said, “I've come to....”

“Oh, no need to explain,” Blanche cut in, “I've been expecting you.”

“Have you really? Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?”

“Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Well, where do we start?”

“Leave everything to me. I'd like to try the bathtub, the couch, and a couple on the bed. Then we'll go to the living room floor where you can really spread out."

“Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Barney and me!”

“Well, I can't guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.”

“My, that's a lot!,” gasped Blanche.

“Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.”

“Don't I know it,” said Blanche under her breath.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This was done on the top of a bus,” he said.

“Oh, my word!” exclaimed Blanche, grasping at her throat.

“And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.”

“She was difficult?” asked Blanche.

“Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look.”

“Four and five deep?”

“Yes, and for more than three hours the mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. When night came I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I had to pack it all in.”

Blanche leaned forward. “Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?”

“It's true. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get started.”

“Tripod?”

“Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.”

That’s when Blanche fainted!