More Cowboy Logic

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen, anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

From a Lifelong Motorcycle Rider

Four wheels move the body;
Two wheels move the soul.

1st Graders Wisdom

1. Better to be safe than..................... punch a 5th grader.
2. Strike while the ........................... bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before.................. Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of......... termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but......... how?
6. Don't bite the hand that................... looks dirty.
7. No news is................................. impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a..................... Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new............. math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll........... stink in the morning.

Top Ten "NEVERS"

Never stand between a dog and a fire plug.

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Never try to teach a pig to dance.

Never roller skate in a buffalo herd.

Never try to make a silk purse from a sow’s ear.

Never try to shove a cat.

Never try to “herd” marbles.

Never try to heat an oven with snowballs.

Never try to start a fire with ice cubes.

Never try to baptize a cat.

Abused Women

"Abused women often live their whole lives with the sound turned off, and then they die." From the movie Affliction-- Nick Nolte's first big break through in film.

Great Wisdom... Heed

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you
didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away
from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream.
Discover. .... Mark Twain

How Bout Some More Cowboy Logic...

* Meanness don't just happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

More Cowboy Logic

If it's a fence, mend it. If it's a dollar bill, spend it
Before it burns a hole down in them jeans.
It it's a load, truck it. If it's a punch, duck it.
If she's a lady, treat her like a queen.

Gotta Love This Redneck Woman

A redneck couple and a very sophisticated couple were seated side by side on an airplane. The redneck gal, being friendly and all, said, "So, where ya'll from?"

The other woman indignantly replied, “My dear, do you not know it is incorrect to finish a sentence with a preposition?!”

The redneck woman sat quietly for a few seconds and then replied:"So, where ya'll from, bitch?"

COWBOY LOGIC

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

That's Bad Luck

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
Rodney Dangerfield

GOOD SERMON

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
George Burns

Ms. Lillian Said It

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'
Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

THE IMPACT OF WAR

We went in as young boys and came out as old men.

Billy Lewis-- B-17 Middle Gunner after 45 bombing missions in WW II.

WORDS THAT I LOVE

Did you ever think about the words you never tire of hearing such as: I love you; thank you; I'm Daddy's girl; your kids are great; and many many others. There's another one for me that I never tire of hearing-- It's Football Time in Tennessee!

Words from Charles Darwin

The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.

We must, however, acknowledge as it seems to me, that a man with all his noble qualities...still bears in his bodily frame the indelible stamp of his lowly origin.