This piece was written and posted on January 1, 2010. But I think its worth repeatin and after all, it's my blog, right?!
A LITTLE CHILD SHALL LEAD THEM... (A Very Personal Story)
Martha and I are extremely fortunate to have seven wonderful grandchildren who teach us more and more about life, living, and the pursuit of happiness. (Wish I had been much wiser when raising their parents! But that's another story.) Two of our grandkids are five-year-old twin boys who attend public school kindergarten in a racially mixed class.
A few nights ago as their dad was lying down with them before bed, Ty asks, "Dad, Wanda (an African American child,not her real name) says black and white people don't like each other, is that true?" Kelly not knowing replies, "Is Wanda black?" Colby replies, "No." Then Kelly asks, "Are there any black kids in your class?" Ty,answers "No." Then thinking about it he says, "There are some brown ones but no black ones." Kelly smiles from ear to ear and says "good night" to his twin boys who've never been taught any form of racial prejudice. He goes downstairs and tells Leanne and they cherish the moment.
Leanne knows Wanda's mother who is a nurse in another school where Leanne does psychotherapy with troubled children. So, she decides to tell the story to Wanda's mother, who laughs just as much as Leanne, and then replies in this awesome manner. "Leanne, Wanda doesn't know she's black. We've never told her!"
Later that evening, Leanne decides to follow-up with the boys and asks, "Remember that conversation you had with dad about black, white, and brown kids in your class? They nod. "Are there any white kids in your class?" Both reply, "No." Then she says, "Are you white?" Both say, "No." "What color are you?" Colby, pulls up the sleeve on his shirt and replies, "Tan."
On my God in heaven may they never learn that they are white and may Wanda never learn that she's black. And better yet, may we learn from these five-year-olds that all prejudices are LEARNED and then remember that everything that is LEARNED CAN BE UNLEARNED. Please God, please.
Dr. King would be proud.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
Need a Good Chuckle?
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
If people from Poland are called Poles,
then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? ?
Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
Now, stop laughing long enough to forward this onto somebody else who could also use a good chuckle!!
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
If people from Poland are called Poles,
then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? ?
Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
Now, stop laughing long enough to forward this onto somebody else who could also use a good chuckle!!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Niner Fever
Thirty years ago this week, Matt and I went to see the Niners and the Giants at Candlestick Park in the second round of the NFL playoffs. Niners won that one and that game still stands out as a terrific memory for both Matt and me. At that time, we lived in the Bay Area and Candlestick was only a few miles from our home.
Come Sunday, a rematch will take place in the same location. But now our location is about 3,000 miles from The Stick. However, given the enthusiasm both of us have for this upcoming game, if I had a few thousand bucks that needed to be used I would gladly fly Matt from Wilmington, NC and me from Memphis to San Fran for a couple of days to revisit what was once our home and to watch the Niners put a hurting on the Giants.
Donations are welcome...
Come Sunday, a rematch will take place in the same location. But now our location is about 3,000 miles from The Stick. However, given the enthusiasm both of us have for this upcoming game, if I had a few thousand bucks that needed to be used I would gladly fly Matt from Wilmington, NC and me from Memphis to San Fran for a couple of days to revisit what was once our home and to watch the Niners put a hurting on the Giants.
Donations are welcome...
Monday, January 16, 2012
Martin Luther King, Jr.
There is no way to measure the impact Dr. King had on America and the world. No way. But then that's the way it usually goes with those who stand above and take on challenges no one else would even try. There work is usually immeasureable at least in the short term. And it is amazingly predictable that we kill those who rise above. History is replete with such.
Dr. King was a prophet in the truest sense of the word. A Priest speaks from the people to God. A prophet speak from God to the people. And that's what he did. There are lot of wanna be prophets today who use television and the internet to try to be "prophet-like." They're always telling us what God told them to say and do and therefore we are to heed and follow. But by comparison, they are a paltry lot.
MLK wasn't perfect, he had his vices, like the rest of us. But he was (in my humble opinion) a real prophet who impacted our society more than any one person in my lifetime and he was Dead at 39 years of age.
May his memory and his work live on.
Selah
Dr. King was a prophet in the truest sense of the word. A Priest speaks from the people to God. A prophet speak from God to the people. And that's what he did. There are lot of wanna be prophets today who use television and the internet to try to be "prophet-like." They're always telling us what God told them to say and do and therefore we are to heed and follow. But by comparison, they are a paltry lot.
MLK wasn't perfect, he had his vices, like the rest of us. But he was (in my humble opinion) a real prophet who impacted our society more than any one person in my lifetime and he was Dead at 39 years of age.
May his memory and his work live on.
Selah
Friday, January 13, 2012
10 Mark Twain Zingers
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
The report of my death was an exaggeration.
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
The report of my death was an exaggeration.
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
NEW YEAR'S WISHES FOR SENIORS
May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your cardiologist, your gastro-enterologist, your urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist, your plumber and the I.R.S.
May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count and your mortgage interest not rise.
May New Year's Eve find you seated around the table, together with your beloved family and cherished friends. May you find the food better, the environment quieter, the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure much more fulfilling than anything else you might ordinarily do that night.
May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you delight them. May someone love you enough to forgive your faults, be blind to your blemishes, and tell the world about your virtues.
May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until you finish dinner, may the commercials on TV not be louder than the program you have been watching, and may your check book and your budget balance - and include generous amounts for charity.
May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day to your spouse, your child, your parent, your siblings; but not to your secretary, your nurse, your masseuse, your hairdresser or your tennis instructor.
And may we live in a world at peace and with the awareness of God's love in every sunset, every flower's unfolding petals, every baby's smile, every lover's kiss, and every wonderful, astonishing, miraculous beat of our heart.
May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count and your mortgage interest not rise.
May New Year's Eve find you seated around the table, together with your beloved family and cherished friends. May you find the food better, the environment quieter, the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure much more fulfilling than anything else you might ordinarily do that night.
May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you delight them. May someone love you enough to forgive your faults, be blind to your blemishes, and tell the world about your virtues.
May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until you finish dinner, may the commercials on TV not be louder than the program you have been watching, and may your check book and your budget balance - and include generous amounts for charity.
May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day to your spouse, your child, your parent, your siblings; but not to your secretary, your nurse, your masseuse, your hairdresser or your tennis instructor.
And may we live in a world at peace and with the awareness of God's love in every sunset, every flower's unfolding petals, every baby's smile, every lover's kiss, and every wonderful, astonishing, miraculous beat of our heart.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
"So, What Did You Learn?"
That's a question that has been posed to me in some form or fashion since August 3, 2011. On July 29th, the exam in the cath lab by Dr. Brent Addington showed I had five blocked coronary arteries. Five days later, Dr. Ed Garrett and his team ran a buzz saw down my chest to perform cardiac by-pass surgery. Only two of the arteries were repairable. It was also discovered I was diabetic which I had no clue about and that I had sleep apnea, meaning during sleep, I stopped breathing every few minutes. With that dark trifecta, the aforementioned question has been quite common: So, what have you learned through this ordeal? That's also a question I've asked myself during these five months. So, here's my answer, at least up to this point.
Has it changed my view of life and death? Not at all. I already knew life was precious and short. And I already knew death awaits us all. And I already had accepted that philosophically, personally, intellectually, and emotionally. I did not go into the surgery with the slightest bit of (conscious) fear. Not because I was confident I would survive, nor comfortable that there was more life even if I died. I just viewed it and experienced it as an event that had to be addressed and the outcome would be– It is what it is.
Did it bring some great revelation or epiphany about life after death? Nope. Life after death either happens or doesn't happen. And I'm okay with that. I hope there's something beyond the grave but if I knew for absolute certain that death was the end, it would not change my life and living one bit. I don’t live life on fear and guilt about death. I released those two tenants of the faith when I recognized, and gave up very early in my adult life, that religious fundamentalism was a form of mental illness. I live life excited about the mystery of life of which religious fundamentalist does not embrace. Life is not filled with absolutes where everything is either black or white, right or wrong, good or bad, normal or abnormal. Life is full of grey and nearly everything is relative. So, no, this life threatening experience did not change my life and death view.
Did I decide to make major changes in my life as a result of this experience? Not really. I had been pondering semi-retirement for quite a while and this just gave me a good excuse to do less therapy and write more books. And it gave me a reason to change my life-style a bit which I already knew needed adjusting.
Did I decide to see my doctor more often? No. I already was doing that but there are some things that can be undetected even by the best docs (which I have in super doc, Kevin Merigian.)
If none of the above was learned during this experience, What, if anything, did I learn?
Did it make me more determined to take another look at my bucket list and mark some things off and add a few extras? Yes. For starters, I want to spend more time with my kids and grandkids and I’m into the process of making that happen. And before I cash in my chips, I won’t to do some things with Martha that we’d talked about for a long time and are now making plans to do them. I’ve also added to my bucket list a motorcycle ride to Alaska in 2013.
What did I learn? Memphis Baptist Hospital has an incredible, none-better, Cardiac Department. From Mary, my Surgery Prep Tech, to my CICU and step-down nurses and aids, including June, one of my Patient Care Tech’s, they were great. I liked them all– but truth be told one nurse just barely made it! From the excellent docs to the least likely care givers, they were exceptional. Then it was topped off by the extraordinary care of the Cardiac Rehab nurses, Shana Robinson and Veronica Robinson. I did 36 rehab sessions with them and I do not have adequate words to applaud how well they do their job.
So, what did I learn? I learned that I could be very sick and not know it or at least not admit it. Denial had done it’s job in making me blame my shortness of breath over the last several months on my asthma. It wasn’t, it was my heart. And I learned that getting healthy is a tough job with no real short cuts and that’s the path I’ve chosen to follow. This is by far the most important thing that I learned and re-learned– life is a mystery and I could be very sick and not know it. But I could learn to be more conscious of getting healthy and I will.
So, What Did I Learn from this experience? The simplest of revelations and epiphanies can be extremely profound.
One last thing. My last book entitled, Don’t Ever Stop Believing... The Best is Yet to Come, was released just six weeks before I discovered I was seriously ill. Five months down the road from the surgery, I’ve learned that I still believe, the best is yet to come. That’s what I learned.
Has it changed my view of life and death? Not at all. I already knew life was precious and short. And I already knew death awaits us all. And I already had accepted that philosophically, personally, intellectually, and emotionally. I did not go into the surgery with the slightest bit of (conscious) fear. Not because I was confident I would survive, nor comfortable that there was more life even if I died. I just viewed it and experienced it as an event that had to be addressed and the outcome would be– It is what it is.
Did it bring some great revelation or epiphany about life after death? Nope. Life after death either happens or doesn't happen. And I'm okay with that. I hope there's something beyond the grave but if I knew for absolute certain that death was the end, it would not change my life and living one bit. I don’t live life on fear and guilt about death. I released those two tenants of the faith when I recognized, and gave up very early in my adult life, that religious fundamentalism was a form of mental illness. I live life excited about the mystery of life of which religious fundamentalist does not embrace. Life is not filled with absolutes where everything is either black or white, right or wrong, good or bad, normal or abnormal. Life is full of grey and nearly everything is relative. So, no, this life threatening experience did not change my life and death view.
Did I decide to make major changes in my life as a result of this experience? Not really. I had been pondering semi-retirement for quite a while and this just gave me a good excuse to do less therapy and write more books. And it gave me a reason to change my life-style a bit which I already knew needed adjusting.
Did I decide to see my doctor more often? No. I already was doing that but there are some things that can be undetected even by the best docs (which I have in super doc, Kevin Merigian.)
If none of the above was learned during this experience, What, if anything, did I learn?
Did it make me more determined to take another look at my bucket list and mark some things off and add a few extras? Yes. For starters, I want to spend more time with my kids and grandkids and I’m into the process of making that happen. And before I cash in my chips, I won’t to do some things with Martha that we’d talked about for a long time and are now making plans to do them. I’ve also added to my bucket list a motorcycle ride to Alaska in 2013.
What did I learn? Memphis Baptist Hospital has an incredible, none-better, Cardiac Department. From Mary, my Surgery Prep Tech, to my CICU and step-down nurses and aids, including June, one of my Patient Care Tech’s, they were great. I liked them all– but truth be told one nurse just barely made it! From the excellent docs to the least likely care givers, they were exceptional. Then it was topped off by the extraordinary care of the Cardiac Rehab nurses, Shana Robinson and Veronica Robinson. I did 36 rehab sessions with them and I do not have adequate words to applaud how well they do their job.
So, what did I learn? I learned that I could be very sick and not know it or at least not admit it. Denial had done it’s job in making me blame my shortness of breath over the last several months on my asthma. It wasn’t, it was my heart. And I learned that getting healthy is a tough job with no real short cuts and that’s the path I’ve chosen to follow. This is by far the most important thing that I learned and re-learned– life is a mystery and I could be very sick and not know it. But I could learn to be more conscious of getting healthy and I will.
So, What Did I Learn from this experience? The simplest of revelations and epiphanies can be extremely profound.
One last thing. My last book entitled, Don’t Ever Stop Believing... The Best is Yet to Come, was released just six weeks before I discovered I was seriously ill. Five months down the road from the surgery, I’ve learned that I still believe, the best is yet to come. That’s what I learned.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Think About It
One of the things I frequently see and hear in the therapy room is a person who continues to beat themselves up over issues from the past. Much of the time it is a benign experience of what they did or did not do. No matter how much they have asked for and prayed for forgiveness, they still punish themselves ad nauseum, ad infinitum. Hearing this over and over, several years ago, I composed the following maxim:
You can never feel forgiven for a sin you didn't commit.
You can never feel forgiven for a sin you didn't commit.
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