On Dreams and Yearnings

It's probably safe to say that all dreams and inner yearnings
that are good, positive, and life-building come from a divine
source. And the more we move toward our creative dreams, the
closer we move toward the Creator.

So, if you've got an internal "want to" or an urgent fantasy-itch
you can't scratch, and it's passed the test of being good,
positive, and life-building, then go for it with confidence of
divine endorsement.

And remember the more unusual and unorthodox your creative dream,
the more assurance you have that it was stimulated by the Divine
Creator.

Taking The Leap of Faith

It was the noted theologian and scholar, Paul Tillich, who
referred to the Christian experience as a "leap of faith."
What he meant was, you can never know for sure, can never have
all the answers, before or after you act. You just make a choice
and take the leap.

That's a great metaphor of life about most aspects of living.
Amidst the ambiguity, ambivalence, and anxiety, well integrated
people learn to act. They celebrate their successes, learn from
their mistakes, grieve normally about their losses, and take the
next leap.

There's an ancient proverb that says, "Leap and the net will
appear." And I would add, "sometimes." Sometimes the net
appears and sometimes you fall on your face. But well adjusted
people keep leaping anyway.

WHY I LIKE THANKSGIVING THE BEST

Of all the religious or secular hoidays that we celebrate, my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. There are several reasons for this, of which I'll name a few.

1. Thanksgiving is the least commercialized-- we don't do gifts, or fireworks, or any elaborate decorations.

2. Thanksgiving is about family-- whether your literal family or one you've created.

3. Thanksgiving is about, well, it's about giving thanks. It's about gratitude, appreciation, acknowledgment of what is important in our lives.

4. Thanksgiving is about commemorating the past, and those who've gone before, and about enjoying the present, no matter the circumstances.

5. Thanksgiving is a good reminder that an attitude of gratitude is one of the best human traits any of us can acquire.

6. This year, I'm especially thankful for the unique privilege of knowing John Houston for 49 years. He took the ride to the other side on Sunday. We'll bury him tomorrow on Thanksgiving Eve, 2009. He would have been 92 on Jan. 1st.

What about you? What do you like about Thanksgiving?

Top Ten Things Men Don't Say

10. "Screw the game... Rosie's on!"

9. "Excuse me, Sir, I'm really, realy lost. Could you give me directions?"

8. "I don't really care for beer... too filling. White wine for me, please."

7. "Honey...you up for some shoe shopping?"

6. "Oh, sure she's great looking, but what about her personality, hmmm?"

5. "I'm just feeling so fat right now. I think I'll get a nice salad instead."

4. "I can't go out tonight. I've got nothing to wear!"

3. "Well, I was reading Cosmo, and it said..."

2. Um, Joe? Do you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?"

1. "A greeting card?! This is way better than power tools."

Will Rogers Said It...

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

This is Pure Country... by Brad Paisley

Sittin' on a bench at West Town Mall
He sat down in his overalls and asked me
You waitin' on a woman?
I nodded yeah and said how 'bout you
He said son since 1952 I've been
Waitin' on a woman

When I picked her up for our first date
I told her I'd be there at eight
And she came down the stairs at eight-thirty
She said I'm sorry that I took so long
Didn't like a thing that I tried on
But let me tell you son she sure looked pretty
Yeah she'll take her time but I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

He said the wedding took a year to plan
You talk about an anxious man, I was nervous
Waitin' on a woman
And then he nudged my arm like old men do
And said, I'll say this about the honeymoon, it was worth it
Waitin' on a woman

And I don't guess we've been anywhere
She hasn't made us late I swear
Sometimes she does it just 'cause she can do it
Boy it's just a fact of life
It'll be the same with your young wife
Might as well go on and get used to it
She'll take her time 'cause you don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

Prescription for Long-Term Marriage

When a couple was celebrating their 25th anniversary at the church
Marriage Marathon, the minister asked Charlie to take a few minutes
and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same
woman all these years.

Charlie told the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on
her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."

The minister inquired, "Praise God. That's wonderful and a great example to all young husbands. Charlie, Can you give us an example?"

"Well, for our 20th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China."

The minister said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands,
Charlie. Please tell the audience what you're going to do for your wife
on this your 25th anniversary?"

Charlie replied, "I'm going to go back and get her."

The Folly of Fundamentalism

Fundamentalism is generally seen as a system of theological dogma
that is the litmus test of faith.

No matter which religion is in question, the reasoning goes that authentic believers subscribe to the dogma and non-believers and second-rate followers do not. But strangely enough, fundamentalism is not about theology nearly as much as it is psychology.

The essence of all flavors of fundamentalism is religious exclusivity and
spiritual arrogance, which is totally about the psychology of low
self-esteem and weak ego strength.

People with healthy self-esteem and ego strength have no reason to be
exclusive or arrogant.

Maya Angelou SaidIit...

Women, children, men -- take it into the palms of your hands.
Mold it into the shape of your most private need.
Sculpt it into the image of your most public self.

Lift up your hearts.
Each new hour holds new chances
For new beginnings.

Here on the pulse of this fine day
May you have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister's eyes,
Into your brother's face, your country.
And say simply, very simply -- with hope -- Good Morning.

Have You Seen Herman?

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted into the Army.

On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.....

Good Quotes

There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.
Logan Pearsall Smith

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
Theodore Roosevelt

Not the fruit of experience but experience itself, is the end.
Walter Pater

He thought to become again the child he never was.
Cormac McCarthy-- "The Crossing"

All the happy people I know are people I don’t know well.
Dennis Prager

Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.
Anonymous

From The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

“It’s hard to love somebody who sees the world as black and white, without also fearing them.”

“I know it doesn’t absolve anyone of anything, but the Kabul we lived in in those days was a strange world, one in which some things mattered more than the truth.”

“Sometimes, I think everything he did, feeding the poor on the streets, building the orphanage, giving money to friends in need, it was all his way of redeeming himself. And that, I believe, is what true redemption, is, Amir jan, when guilt leads to good."

"Perspective was a luxury when your head was constantly buzzing with a swarm of demons.”

“I thought of a line I’d read somewhere, or maybe I’d heard someone say it: There are a lot of children in Afghanistan, but little childhood.”

In Case You're Ever on Jeopardy

There are 95 cities in China with population of 1 million or more. How many cities in the USA have 1 million or more? Six! What's the point? There are a lot of folks in China!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MARITAL HUMOR

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust."

And that's when the fight started...

*****

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a set of scales.

And that's when the fight started...

*****
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?" "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." "My God!" says my wife, "who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And that's when the fight started...

*****

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment." The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And that's when the fight started...

*****

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's when the fight started...

*****

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.

And that's when the fight started...

*****

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man "Holy crap. That must be my husband!"

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!' The woman yelled back, "Yeah, then why were you running?"

And that's when the fight started...

*****

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And that's when the fight started ...

*****

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started...

*****

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I'm with you.

2. Few people are worth your tears, and those who are, won't make you cry.

3. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

4. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

5. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

6. Don't waste your time on anyone who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

7. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

YOU COULD HAVE HEARD A PIN DROP

When in England, at a fairly large conference, Condi Rice was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building' by George Bush. She answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.'
You could have heard a pin drop.

***

There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?' A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'
You could have heard a pin drop.

***

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?' Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'
You could have heard a pin drop.

***

Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. 'You have been to France before, monsieur?' the customs officer asked sarcastically. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously. Then you should know enough to have your passport ready.' The American said, ''The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it.'Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!' The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, ''Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to.'
You could have heard a pin drop.

EVEN HALLMARK HAS A BAD DAY!

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.

Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
'What the hell was I thinking?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.
-----------------------------

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
_________________________

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
____________________

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
____________________

We have been friends for a very long time.
let's say we stop?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.

====================================

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
_______________

Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
_______________

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay

HAVE YOU QUIT DREAMING?

A father and his 20-year-old son were riding down the Interstate; the boy was driving. They passed a Cadillac SUV Sport Escalade– that’s the one that looks like a tank and sells for about 50k. Son said, “That’s what I want– right there– and I’m gonna get me one.”

Dad says, “What? Do you know how much those things cost? You’re not out of college. You don’t even have a job. That’s absurd to talk about buying a vehicle like that.”

It was quiet for a moment and then son said, “Dad, do you know what your problem is? You don’t even recognize dreaming when you hear it.”

Dad had quit dreaming a long time ago and didn’t want anyone around him to do it either.

How about you?