More Notable Quotables

To err is human-- to really foul up requires a computer.

Old folks know more about being young than young folks do about being old.

Parents know more about being children than children do about being parents.
You can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

Socrates said: Know thyself; Cicero said: Control thyself; Christ said: Give thyself.

JUST FOR LAUGHS

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Anonymous

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
Sam Kinison

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.
James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut your mouth.
Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
Nash

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'

Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
Anonymous

Five Notable Quotables

Laughter is the shortest distances between two people.

To err is human-- to blame it on someone else is even more human.

Aging is a case of mind over matter-- if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

I finally got it altogether but forgot where I put it.

God loves you and I'm trying.

That'll Work!

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass...
it's about learning to dance in the rain."

Can You Relate?

David Foster said: I'm only as happy as my unhappiest child.

THE COLOR PURPLE

Introducing herself, she said, "I grew up in the color purple." She went on to explain that she had survived life in a terrible ghetto in South Carolina and had scratched and clawed her way to a high ranking position as a military chaplain.

With advanced degrees in theology, psychology, and personnel management she had a very impressive resume. But she was not happy.

Later in a therapy session, she cried out in deep despair, "Grandmama you told me with a good education, I could leave the ghetto behind. Grandmama, you were wrong. I got the good education but the ghetto is still living inside." And that was the beginning of her journey toward wholeness.

When will we ever learn, You can't fix inside problems with outside solutions. She couldn't, neither can you.

Words of Ralph Waldo Emerson

We do what we must, and call it by the best names.

To be great is to be misunderstood.

What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.

Every sweet has its sour; every evil its good.

Every artist was first an amateur.

Cleaning Up the Mess

His name is Max Chase and he owns the Point of Rocks Guest Ranch
at Emigrant Gap, Montana, right where A River Runs Through It was
filmed. He's been leading hunting parties and fly fishing trips
for 30 years. He's independent, opinionated, a good business
man, was the Montana fly fishing champion a few years back, and
he was our fishing guide on the Yellowstone River.

One afternoon, while in some swift current, Chad saw an aluminum
can in the edge of the water and pointed it out. Max Chase, with
a few choice words, began rowing against the current with all
his might to retrieve that can. After 10-15 minutes, we got close
enough that I could grab a willow limb, while Max used the oars,
and Chad got out in the water and picked up the can. With the
trash in hand, I said, "Max, was it worth it?" He laughed and
said, "Oh yeah, definitely!" And after a few more choice words,
we resumed our fishing.

Oh, I forgot to tell you, Max Chase loves life, liberty, family,
and mother earth. And he loves these things enough that he's
willing to clean up someone else's mess.

Is that maybe the true test of real love? Agape-love. That we
love enough to clean up someone else's mess.

A lot of people who get into therapy are learning to clean up the
mess someone else made in their lives. It's hard work and you
may say a few choice words along the way but it's definitely
worth it.

Promoting Taking Chance

I'd like to use this spot to highly recommend the HBO Special-- Taking Chance. Starring Kevin Bacon, this incredible movie, which is destined to win awards, will impact you-- I promise.

Harry Emerson Fosdick Said It...

A person wrapped up in himself makes a small package.

Bitterness imprisons life; love releases it.

Christians are supposed not merely to endure change, nor even to profit by it, but to cause it.

Democracy is based upon the conviction that there are extraordinary possibilities in ordinary people.

Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to.

God is not a cosmic bellboy for whom we can press a button to get things.

Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat.

He who cannot rest, cannot work; he who cannot let go, cannot hold on; he who cannot find footing, cannot go forward.

He who chooses the beginning of the road chooses the place it leads to. It is the means that determines the end.

He who knows no hardships will know no hardihood. He who faces no calamity will need no courage. Mysterious though it is, the characteristics in human nature which we love best grow in a soil with a strong mixture of troubles.

IT'S NO JOKE

Erma Bombeck
Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.

Friedrich Nietzsche
And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.

G. K. Chesterton
Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.

George Bernard Shaw
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.

James Thurber
Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.

Joel Goodman
Humor is a universal language.

FRIENDS

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost." Charles Caleb Colton

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
Walter Winchell

"A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else."
Len Wein

"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself."

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Walk beside me and be my friend."
Albert Camus

"It takes a long time to grow an old friend."

"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you."
Elbert Hubard

"I get by with a little help from my friends."
John Lennon

"The better part of one's life consists of his friendships."
Abraham Lincoln

Mahatma Gandhi

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Indolence is a delightful but distressing state; we must be doing something to be happy.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress.

One needs to be slow to form convictions, but once formed they must be defended against the heaviest odds.

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

Progresssive Priest Went too Far!

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first four rows of pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now."

The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued, "And you told me a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to the church. You were right, bringing in that rock 'n roll gospel choir has helped pack the building-- even the balcony."

"Thank you, Father," answered the young priest. "I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth."

"However," said the elderly priest, "I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional."

"But, Father," protested the young priest, "my confessions and the donations have nearly doubled since I began that!"

"I know, son, but that flashing neon sign, Toot 'n Tell or Go To Hell, just can't stay on the church roof!"

Mahatma Gandhi

As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, keep it.

Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress.

Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.

I cannot teach you violence, as I do not myself believe in it. I can only teach you not to bow your heads before any one even at the cost of your life.

I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.

AVIATION & ATTITUDE

A wannabe aviator learns early in flight training to pay close
attention to the attitude of the airplane which is the direction
the nose is pointed.

The attitude of the airplane is one of the most crucial aspects of
aviation because wherever the nose is pointed, the airplane goes.
When the nose is pointed even slightly upward, the airplane climbs, slightly downward and it descends, slightly right or left and that's the way it goes.

What a metaphor of life! Wherever your nose is pointed is the direction
you will go.

How's your attitude? Which way is your nose pointed?

Powerful Words of Dan Armstrong

THE THRILL IS GONE

The thrill is gone
Marching feet, military weaons,
Parading to a Sousa tune
I can no longer cheer the flying
Of the Stars and Stripes
Over the blood and gore of
Dead children and their parents
Destruction of neighborhoods
Shattered uniformed bodies of
Someone's son or daughter
Marching feet now
Crush away life.

Dan C. Armstsrong
2-26-09

Advice for Girls (Women, Too)

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you're in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on-- one who is constantly reminding you how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you-- the one who turns to his friends and says, that's her!

Sam Wilson