AS I'VE MATURED...

I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blanket.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I've learned that a child can keep throwing up long after you think they're finished.

I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty
things.

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I've learned that some people don't suffer from insanity, they enjoy it.

I've learned that you are responsible for what you do, unless you are
a celebrity.

I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity.