Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like night.
On the other hand . . . you have different fingers.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Remember half the people you know are below average.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Borrow money from pessimists. They don't expect it back.
Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable . . . except from vending machines.
Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
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