Questions to Ponder

Can you cry under water?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured him actually have?

Why is an actor IN a movie but ON t.v.?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Morality is doing what is right, regardless of what we are told.

Religious dogma is doing what we are told, regardless of what is right.

Dr. Andy Thomson

NEW COUNTRY MUSIC HIT

God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy.

I'M LEARNING...

I'm learning...
that I either control my attitude or it controls me.

I'm learning...
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I'm learning...
that my best friend and I can do anything or
nothing and still have a good time.

I'm learning...
that sometimes when I'm angry, I have the right to be angry,
but it doesn't give me the right to be curel or verbally abusive.

I'm learning...
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done,
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

Heard at a 50th Class Reunion

"We finally got all our kids out of the house so we could have some fun but by then, we'd forgotten how!"

Now, I don't care who you are, that's funny!

Hear and Heed

Franklin D. Roosevelt's inauguration speech on March 4, 1933 which occurred in the middle of the bank panic, hence the backdrop for his famous words:

This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself– nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

That's When the Fight Started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife, "who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And that's when the fight started...

********

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....