"So, What Did You Learn?"

That's a question that has been posed to me in some form or fashion since August 3, 2011. On July 29th, the exam in the cath lab by Dr. Brent Addington showed I had five blocked coronary arteries. Five days later, Dr. Ed Garrett and his team ran a buzz saw down my chest to perform cardiac by-pass surgery. Only two of the arteries were repairable. It was also discovered I was diabetic which I had no clue about and that I had sleep apnea, meaning during sleep, I stopped breathing every few minutes. With that dark trifecta, the aforementioned question has been quite common: So, what have you learned through this ordeal? That's also a question I've asked myself during these five months. So, here's my answer, at least up to this point.

Has it changed my view of life and death? Not at all. I already knew life was precious and short. And I already knew death awaits us all. And I already had accepted that philosophically, personally, intellectually, and emotionally. I did not go into the surgery with the slightest bit of (conscious) fear. Not because I was confident I would survive, nor comfortable that there was more life even if I died. I just viewed it and experienced it as an event that had to be addressed and the outcome would be– It is what it is.

Did it bring some great revelation or epiphany about life after death? Nope. Life after death either happens or doesn't happen. And I'm okay with that. I hope there's something beyond the grave but if I knew for absolute certain that death was the end, it would not change my life and living one bit. I don’t live life on fear and guilt about death. I released those two tenants of the faith when I recognized, and gave up very early in my adult life, that religious fundamentalism was a form of mental illness. I live life excited about the mystery of life of which religious fundamentalist does not embrace. Life is not filled with absolutes where everything is either black or white, right or wrong, good or bad, normal or abnormal. Life is full of grey and nearly everything is relative. So, no, this life threatening experience did not change my life and death view.

Did I decide to make major changes in my life as a result of this experience? Not really. I had been pondering semi-retirement for quite a while and this just gave me a good excuse to do less therapy and write more books. And it gave me a reason to change my life-style a bit which I already knew needed adjusting.

Did I decide to see my doctor more often? No. I already was doing that but there are some things that can be undetected even by the best docs (which I have in super doc, Kevin Merigian.)

If none of the above was learned during this experience, What, if anything, did I learn?

Did it make me more determined to take another look at my bucket list and mark some things off and add a few extras? Yes. For starters, I want to spend more time with my kids and grandkids and I’m into the process of making that happen. And before I cash in my chips, I won’t to do some things with Martha that we’d talked about for a long time and are now making plans to do them. I’ve also added to my bucket list a motorcycle ride to Alaska in 2013.

What did I learn? Memphis Baptist Hospital has an incredible, none-better, Cardiac Department. From Mary, my Surgery Prep Tech, to my CICU and step-down nurses and aids, including June, one of my Patient Care Tech’s, they were great. I liked them all– but truth be told one nurse just barely made it! From the excellent docs to the least likely care givers, they were exceptional. Then it was topped off by the extraordinary care of the Cardiac Rehab nurses, Shana Robinson and Veronica Robinson. I did 36 rehab sessions with them and I do not have adequate words to applaud how well they do their job.

So, what did I learn? I learned that I could be very sick and not know it or at least not admit it. Denial had done it’s job in making me blame my shortness of breath over the last several months on my asthma. It wasn’t, it was my heart. And I learned that getting healthy is a tough job with no real short cuts and that’s the path I’ve chosen to follow. This is by far the most important thing that I learned and re-learned– life is a mystery and I could be very sick and not know it. But I could learn to be more conscious of getting healthy and I will.

So, What Did I Learn from this experience? The simplest of revelations and epiphanies can be extremely profound.

One last thing. My last book entitled, Don’t Ever Stop Believing... The Best is Yet to Come, was released just six weeks before I discovered I was seriously ill. Five months down the road from the surgery, I’ve learned that I still believe, the best is yet to come. That’s what I learned.