1.WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES YOU CAN AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF, BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOUR ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
3. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LAXATIVE... YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH!
4. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN THIS LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE WD-40... IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE DUCT TAPE.
5. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
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