THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law
a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought
you last year!"
And that's when the fight started.....

Terrible Joke... But Still Funny!

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom
mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said
to me,"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment."
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And that's when the fight started........

More From the French Tehologian

In the final analysis, the questions of why bad things happen to good people transmutes itself into some very different questions, no longer asking why something happened, but asking how we will respond, what we intend to do now that it happened.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Another Good Quote from the Frenchman

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Another Quote from the French Philosopher

Love alone can unite living beings so as to complete and fulfill them... for it alone joins them by what is deepest in themselves. All we need is to imagine our ability to love developing until it embraces the totality of men and the earth.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

French Philosopher Said It & I Believe It...

Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

You Know You're Living in 2010 When...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You email your spouse who's in another room in the same house.

3. Your don't stay in touch with friends and family if they don't do e-mail.

4. You haven't sent a hand-written letter in years.

5. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. You are furious when the t.v. remote can't be found or doesn't work.

8. Leaving the house without your cell causes panic and you go back and get it.

9. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

10. You add really silly things nobody cares about on Facebook 3 times a day.

11. You frequently ask your nine-year-old grandchild for help with your cell phone.

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

How About A Litttle Humor To Offset the Election?!

1.WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES YOU CAN AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF, BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOUR ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

3. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LAXATIVE... YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH!

4. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN THIS LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE WD-40... IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE DUCT TAPE.

5. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

STAY IN BED?

If the best part of waking up is Folger's in your cup-- I'd suggest staying in bed!

A WORD FROM MARK TWAIN

“It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense."

REUNIONS

Every year summertime is filled with reunions-- High School, college, fraternities and sororities, athletic reunions and numerous others. But the biggest is the family reunion.

Being aware of several of these this summer, prompted me to ask myself, "What is a good reunion?" My conclusion? It's one when everybody has a reasonably good time and nobody gets their feelings hurt too badly and no one shows their behind too clearly. And best of all they only talk about each other on the way home!